Today is my five year wedding anniversary (or should be if my queued post has done its thang correctly).
I don’t talk about marriage or my husband that much because honestly, there’s not much to say. I’m really happy and he’s a prince amoung men. But I keep seeing a lot of “The Secret to my long marriage is…” articles recently and it’s got me to thinking (Carrie Bradshaw voice):
Is there a secret? And do I know it?
I don’t know if there is a secret. I think you’re lucky or you’re not. I think you can never guarantee that things will stay the same and that even the most fairy tale of loves can bend and break under enough pressure.
Loving someone long term is fucking hard work, just as it’s hard to love yourself all the time. Or maybe you do love most of the time but the like isn’t always there. You just have to work on it as best you can. Sometimes the like turns to dislike, and sometimes one person will change and leave the other behind.
You can’t predict is what I’m saying but you can enjoy it and you can nurture it too. I think an important one for me is to be aware of the times I might be taking my lovely partner for granted. He is so nice to me that I sometimes get too used to it and flounce about the flat like Marie Antoinette and in the end that’s a dangerous place to be. Next I’ll be demanding peeled grapes whilst I recline against a wall of satin pillows.
So, I don’t think there’s a secret. I do think you have to be able to accept that nobody’s perfect, try not to go to bed too angry, and where possible have a breather from one another. Having time to miss someone does wonders I find.
I’m no marriage expert (not that anyone’s asking). Maybe in another five years I’ll have more to impart. But I am in love with the same person after seven years and still get butterflies when we kiss.
My husband has the nicest arse on the planet, makes me laugh like nobody else because he’s so goofy and I’d take a goddamn bullet for him.