It seems like you can’t move an inch without bumping into a Gilmore Girls Reunion hot take at the moment and I’m afraid it’s not going to be any different round these parts. Not today. For today I tell you exactly what I thought!
There will be *spoilers* because they’re unavoidable, so please do tread carefully if you’re not up-to-date yet. I’d hate to be the one to ruin anything for you. If you’re a GG fan, you need to experience the magic first hand.
*Seriously though, MASSIVE SPOILERS*
First Thoughts
We open (if I’m remembering it correctly) with Lorelai and Rory walking swiftly through Stars Hollow. Rory, it appears, is a very busy globetrotter now and is only passing through. Based on what Lorelai says about the Stars Hollow tour, Rory hasn’t been back for a while. It’s Winter and that can only mean one thing. Does Lorelai smell snow? Yes she does.
The dialogue is as fast-paced as ever but this time it’s peppered with current pop culture references and it’s kind of weird. The speed at which the girls speak is like machine gun fire and it’s cheesy as hell but I just do not care, this is going to be amazing. So magical and comforting. Pass the goddamn hot chocolate.
Rory has a boyfriend, and it’s not one of the (un)holy trinity! His name is Paul and everyone but everyone forgets him the instant they meet him. Even Rory keeps leaving him places. They’ve been dating two years, though they only see each other rarely because of her busy schedule. Lorelai and Luke are still together and that’s all grand and great and all, but where’s Emily?
Emily! 😦 She looks so tiny and sad, and she is sad of course because Richard is no more and will I ever stop crying? The gargantuan portrait of him in her drawing room is amazing, leave her alone Lorelai! Bants between mother and daughter (Emily and Lorelai) is extra frosty in the opening episode and we soon find out why, via a flashback to Richard’s funeral. Oh GOD here come the tears again!
Significant information about Rory: she’s had an article published in the New Yorker! And she also has lots of logs on the fire (or whatever her manic self-assuring phrase is). You get the impression that not everything is kicking off the way this girl thought they would and that’s shit, and all too identifiable. Though I’ve never had the drive and ambition of Rory Gilmore. I’m more Paul Anka (the dog) than Rory Gilmore, let’s face it. Anyway, this is all so cheesy and reference-y but I literally DGAF!
Let’s move this a long a little, as we have 6 hours to get through and I can’t break it all down.
The Best Bits
Emily and everything Emily thinks, says and does
This woman is The Don. I’m actually very happy with what they did with her arc. Nobody could ever have replaced the relationship she had with Richard so it makes sense she ended up with her wonderful self. What a woman. The entire scene in Fall where she finally loses her cool at the DAR is perfection. Truly.
Paris
Oh Paris, you haven’t mellowed one bit and I love you for it. Highlights include the whole schtick with Doyle, the nanny and their town house in the city with way too many stairs, and the bathroom scene at Chilton. Could it be any more Paris?
I read somewhere that she’s become the lesbian crush du jour which is all well and good, but wasn’t she always? (Actually, it seems yes she was). I mean, she’s a character that has always stayed true to herself and that self is glorious. Difficult, determined, defiant and ferocious – but always funny, self-aware and fiercely loyal. It was soooo good to see her.
Babette & Miss Patty back together
These two are me. Honestly, I hope I’m still into fit boys when I’m a grown up.
Jess ❤
My god he’s fit. I’m a little bit sad he’s not so brooding anymore but he’s so hot it physically hurts me. I’m glad he hasn’t gotten back together with Rory, even though he’s the one she should be with ultimately.
If they do move this into a new series then they’ve laid the groundwork well for a relationship revisit but as Meghan says, Jess is too good for Rory. She’s such a whiny twat.
Sookie Returns
It’s not nearly good enough that she only pops up right near the end of the reunion and for less than five minutes, but I’ll take it. The “Still best friends?” moment was lovely. I might have had a lump in my throat. And all those cakes! Melissa McCarthy you are a dream.
The steam punk look when the Life and Death Brigade came to play
Even thought the L&DB are somewhat irritating, against my better judgement I enjoyed it when they rocked up in Stars Hollow for one last hooray with Rory. I haven’t mentioned the Logan story line yet, which I’m indifferent to really. The cheating wasn’t really a surprise as Rory has form (getting it on with Dean after he married Lindsay) and also it happens. It’s not right of course but it’s Logan who’s being the disloyal fuck in this scenario.
God everyone despises Logan don’t they? I really don’t mind him and this was a corny, yet fitting way to see him off (or did we?). That steam punk hat Rory wears is TDF though, and I need one!
See also: Lorelai’s Wedding Hat.
The Lines Episode
I would so read the waiting in lines series Rory works on in Spring. I would also totally do it with a Wookiee.
Luke & Lorelai Get Spliced
About time. And Michel is married too! To a man!
Kirk’s New Movie
It is everything.
The Worst
Lane is still with Zack?
He’s even more of a douche-bag! That joke about him selling out wears thin realllly fast and goddamn it, that girl deserves better. Of all the characters in this show I think Lane was the most wasted, she was so cool. I can only remember seeing Lane properly a handful of times throughout the reunion too – and it sucks. It sucks as bad as Zack’s whole fucking deal.
Shut Up, Rory
Alexis Bledel is such a bad actress, I’m sorry. She’s just so awkward. She is stunning looking obviously and I want to enjoy the character of Rory so much, but I just don’t. She’s a sniveling brat. The worst (though not as bad as Zack, or Taylor. Oh god, and April). Fuck April.
Fat-shaming-a-go-go!
The fat shaming in Summer is appalling, fuck you guys really. This is 2016! Lorelai even jokingly scolds Luke for body-shaming in Winter, so I thought something might have changed. Nothing has changed. This is bad, guys – do better.
Gilmore Fights
I still hate the Lorelai/Rory fights. They are always so easily avoidable. They also remind me of the one and only time my Mum stopped talking to me (it was justified), and that still hurts my heart.
See also: Emily and Lorelai arguments. Just hug your mother, Lorelai for the love of God and forget this nonsense. It’s not worth it.
The Ending
I guess most things come full circle so it makes sense but it’s very dull. She should of ended up with Paris after all, though P is too much woman for a wet blanket.
Brexit
Naomi Shropshire (Alex Kingston being her usual gorgeous self), Rory’s one time book collaborator, makes a Brexit quip in the Spring episode. No. I come here to escape the world, not to be reminded of how scary it is. Stop it at once.
The Musical Bits
Boring! I’ve all but blocked them from memory.
Dean
Keep on walking, dickhead.
I think I’ve covered most of my thoughts here, I’m starting to feel sleepy. I’m also getting the urge to watch all four episodes all over again. This came at the perfect time of the year and as a wonderful birthday gift, and I’m not quite ready to leave it behind.
I don’t know if they’ll take this show any further. All I really know is that I’ll be right here if they do. It is cheesy as hell and more than irritating at times but I love it more than I can say. It’s quite new to me so I can only imagine what it would have meant had I discovered it first time around.
Have you taken a wander round 2016 Stars Hollow? What did you think? ❤
A Voluptuous Mind 