Things I Won’t Apologise For: a Feminist List

Wearing make-up

“Most men” don’t like make-up on girls. Most men best believe that no woman spends the money she does on make-up to impress them. It’s maybe a shocking concept but all the women I know enjoy make-up for themselves and other women. Simple, innit?

Make-up for me has always been a form of war paint. I had terrible skin up until about five years ago so some of the things I put on my face were questionable, but men would often ask me why I wore so much foundation and what was wrong with my face?

My complexion got better but I haven’t forgotten those tactless comments from the male sex, like they ever had any right. And don’t get me started on the “black stuff” around my eyes. This is, and always has been my look of choice, and I happen to feel very comfortable with an aesthetic championed by punks and princesses throughout history.

Likewise, I often enjoy being completely naked (and the face too), you think all these natural-look loving men think I look like a goddess then? LOL.

So, gents: If you don’t like foundation, false lashes and brightly coloured lips, don’t fucking wear them!

Having and talking about periods

Women bleed, it’s just how it works. It’s annoying sometimes and often painful but it’s part of the deal and that is that. I won’t pretend I don’t get a kick out of talking graphically about my monthly visitor. The fact that it makes some people (men) feel uncomfortable gives me power.

My husband and I like to think up the most visceral ways to describe being on the blob, though I’ve not found a better one than “Shark Week” yet. Not original obvs but very clever.

While on the subject of periods, I often think of my old best friend and her delight in banging her female partners when they were “on”. There was no squeamishness between them at all and I think we can all take a leaf out of that book. It’s all down to personal taste of course, and there’s no way I feel like doing it on my period all the time but you know what I’m saying. There’s definitely a place for period sex.

Being Fat

Yeah, I’m so not sorry for being fat. I’m not sorry to anybody. I’ve got to the point now that I accept who I am and while I don’t think fat should define a person, I think being body positive is a very important part of who I am and I want to keep going with that. Let’s see where it takes this fine arse, eh?

Being like other girls

Is there a more irritating phrase than “Well, I’m not really like other girls”? Or indeed to hear somebody say it to you. It’s the ultimate backhanded compliment, implying that the rest of your gender sucks arse. They do not suck, the person who says this does. The end.

Talking about sex

This has always been my favourite subject, not least because by talking about it I can work out if I’m doing it right! Ever since my friend Frances asked me loudly across a table in a busy beer garden if I was “a squirter”, I’ve been much more comfortable with sex talk. Ever since I started having incredible sex really.

Before I met my husband, I’d giggle about penises but man, was I having a lot of very disappointing shags. Like, the worst. It should also be said that it pays to be sensitive to the friends who aren’t into similar chat, not everybody wants to hear about banging and cocks.

Masturbating

This is the greatest thing I have ever learned to do. What a gift to be able to give myself an orgasm.

Speaking up

Sometimes this is hard and sometimes this is something I question but I will never be sorry about calling someone out for saying something I disagree with. I am working constantly on that. A healthy, calm conversation with opposing views can throw up some interesting things to think about.

In contrast though, sometimes there’s no discussion to be had. Rape jokes, blatant misogyny or sexism (and the rest) should be dealt with without ceremony. People don’t have to agree on everything but that kind of talk deserves to be shut down there and then.

Making feminist lists

Sorry, had to.

What are you fed up with apologising for? ❤