Day 24: Sleigh

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Christmas can be a difficult time, all that family together in close quarters, all that cleaning and cooking to do. I try not to allow myself to stress but invariably do, spending much of Christmas morning red-faced and cussing. Sometimes snapping at my loved ones, as they naturally try to help me out, and I don’t let them.

I’m not talking about my immediate family here because these days it’s just us, chilling out but I saw something on social media about how hard it can be to spend all that time with the people you love when they just don’t understand you. This post in particular was about a girl struggling with being called fat continually throughout the Christmas period by her parents and extended family.

Now, I do know how this feels as I grew up with critical family members, who from an early age made digs about how much and what I ate at Christmas (and all year round). I still remember the exact words and who uttered them, and I must have been no more than 8 at the time. They didn’t stop as I grew up and honestly, if I had a penny for every time I’ve heard “You’d be beautiful if you lost weight”, I’d have a lot of pennies. (Which I’d spend on crisps).

I wish people would stop. Or at least consider how even the most throwaway comment can land and stick for life. I’ve never been conventionally attractive or slim and it doesn’t matter to anyone. Why should it bother an aunt I only ever see briefly at Christmas or funerals?

It isn’t always about weight or looks, either. It can be about career or lack thereof. Or your inability to hold down a relationship. Maybe you have the wrong relationship. Maybe you’re just not living up to your family’s expectations, whatever they are.

In my own meandering way I’m trying to say, if you’re in a situation like this: hang in there. It’s hard just to say fuck them when they’re your family, I know*. Sometimes you’ve no choice but to grin and bear it. But please try to remember that you should be answerable to nobody but yourself.

So they don’t like the way you look. And? They think you could do better career wise. What do you think, are you happy? 

They despise your boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, you’ve kind of got me here ‘cos in my experience, Mother is always right. But you know, you’re the one who has to decide this and you will decide this when the time is right. (I’m living proof you have to take your own time to figure this shit out).

Go slay this Christmas season: be secure in who you are. Try and be patient with the ignorance of others, if you can. Don’t tolerate anything that upsets you. Believe in yourself and don’t forget, people with happy healthy lives never feel the need to throw verbal punches, so consider that.

You’re fucking perfect the way you are. Merry motherfucking Christmas! ❤

*Mum, if you’re reading this, I don’t mean you!

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Day 22: Get It

I’m not making resolutions for 2017, I’ve decided. You’ll see my take on the traditional resolutions post on the 31st.

However. I will be going out on a limb and pushing myself in different areas. The above is a reminder that I can go out and get what I want when I want. It’s also a Frannieism, so I love it all the more.

This is your daily reminder to go get what you want, you got this. You have. ❤

Day 21: It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

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I’m not really feeling Christmas this year, a fact no doubt tied in with my failure to watch Love Actually yet. (Yes, it’s problematic and unbearable at times, idgaf). I’m sure my lack of festive cheer with subside as soon as work’s out on Friday and I can retire to the sofa with a buck’s fizz in hand.

I do know I’m lucky to be spending this time of year with the ones I love with no real drama* around me. I look around and there are so many people currently having a shit time. Friends are dealing with heartbreak, unemployment and issues with housing and illness, and it’s not fucking fair. You’d of thought, between the Spirit of Christmas and the fat dude in the red suit, they would have worked out a way to pause life for a few days for all humanity, and just make it nice for everyone.

But that’s not life, is it? So I think today’s affirmation is just this: let’s be conscious of the people around us having a crappy time. Do what you can to help, whatever that is. Sometimes it’s a hug or a small token gift to say you’re thinking of them. It might be an invite to lunch. You might be a volunteer to people in need, which I absolutely take my hat off to.

Be grateful for all you have, do what you can for another person or two and have a great Christmas season, please. Be good and kind to yourself too if you’re going through shit, even if not. Christmas to me nowadays is about surrounding myself with people I really want to see, films I really want to watch, sleep, books and food I want to eat. It’s about taking stock for a moment and slowing down.

I hope yours is whatever you want it to be, or at least what you need. Enjoy it.

Merry Christmas all! 🎄🌟🤶🏻❄️🎅🏼🥂🎄

*fingers crossed.

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I don’t think I’m ready for Rickman in Love Actually yet ❤