Get Me Bodied

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Last night I fell into bed at the usual time utterly exhausted. Had I climbed a mountain, or run 10k? Nope, just the usual: spent more than a ‘healthy’ amount of time on Twitter.

I can’t blame my favourite social media app for all these feelings of inertia but a conversation started on there that began to melt my brain, and then got me thinking about all the other negative talk I hear on a day to day basis.

It gets to the point where you can feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and for a moment there I wanted to shout; “Stop the world, I want to get off!”.

Then I remembered that the new patch on my denim jacket urges me to consider what Kathleen Hanna would do and I know I can’t just lie down until it passes. Not that this blog post will change society in 350 words obviously, but at least I can get it off my chest.

It’s about bodies (who knew?).

The thing that triggered me yesterday was news of a plus-size issue of Glamour magazine. Cool. But apparently, or at least this is how it looks to the outside world, they’d struggled to actually fill an entire issue with ‘acceptable’ women of size so they’d turned to Amy Schumer as one of their poster children.

She’s not plus-size in my eyes but by that stage I didn’t know what dress size she was so, whatever (obviously it wasn’t going to be a large one). Schumer, on social media, reposted the cover with the a “Hey Twitter, what are your thoughts?”. She went on to say she had nothing against being plus-size but that as a US size 6 (plus-size begins at 16), she doesn’t consider herself to be in that category. She also claimed she was never told or asked that she’d be in this edition, and that she’s offended by it.

This whole thing does raise the question of why she’s so bothered about the association to this label, especially when she’s started off by being so body positive. I get that the label is not for some. Ashley Graham wants to be referred to as sexylicious ffs! But from what I’ve seen, Amy has made a career out of fat jokes about herself, I guess she just doesn’t think it’s cool that anyone would consider her that way, beyond herself. It’s just such a mixed message.

I’m not saying she’s wrong for raising the point of how this labeling could affect young people but I just… I’m tired of it all.

Not even to mention the fact that they could have filled this issue with hundreds of incredible fat ladies who aren’t models and made this issue actually something special.

I’m tired of fat people still not having it better in 2016. I’m tired of insidious fat talk seeping into my every day life and never being put in check. I’m tired of Amy Schumer’s poor comic delivery if I’m honest.

Most of all, I’m tired of thinking about my own body all the time. Like, all the shitting time!

Out for drinks on Friday I found myself talking about this vessel I call my body wayyyyyy too much and it was only because one person in my party likes to bring it up. I’m not sure why: to make me feel different? Special? Not good enough? It’s likely not malicious but it’s helped me on my way to typing this out. Shut up about it already!

Normally I’m all for this chatter. I’m getting better at it and I accept myself a hell of a lot more than I did ten/two years/one year/six months/a day ago but sometimes I just feel worn down. I think it’s the beauty industry altogether, with fat just being one branch of it.

And you know what else, I’m a privileged fat person at that – I’m white, at the smaller end of the plus-size spectrum and I’m represented a hell of a lot more in the media and all around than a lot of other women. So I have much less of a right to be moaning right now.

So, before my head falls off (at least I’d lose half a stone, amiright? BOOM):

  • Is it okay to be fat? Yes.
  • Do fat people deserve the same considerations as thin people? Yes.
  • Is it a form of rebellion to love yourself despite the fact people around you are telling you not to? Yes.
  • Is it okay to hate yourself every once in a while, despite all your body po personal achievements? Fuck yes.
  • Is it okay to be thin and beautiful? Yes.
  • Is it okay to opt out of triggering body talk? Always yes.
  • Is it okay to call someone up on their casual fatphobia? Yes.
  • Is it okay to feel down about bodies in general and write an incoherent post about it on your blog? God I hope so.

Finally:

  • Is it okay to dislike Amy Schumer (not for this) but still sort of enjoy Trainwreck (2015)? I don’t care what the answer to this one is TBH.

That’s where I am head wise today. If I were given the opportunity to be a brain in a jar for a while I might take them up on it just for another perspective.

One day you know maybe there won’t be the need to assess women by their size and conversations like this will be a thing of the past. I look forward to that day but until then, call me plus, give me clothes that fit and less of the fucking attitude.

What’s on your mind today? ❤

A Little Miss Guided

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This is not me (via Unsplash)

It’s with a start that I realise I haven’t done my annual Autumn-loving post and it’s already mid-way through October. I mean, who am I anymore?

I don’t, however, think there’s much I can add to previous posts that hasn’t already been said. Pumpkin Spice Latte, chunky knit scarves, crunchy leaves – you know the drill by now.

So I thought I’d do something a little different (ish) and blog about clothes (I won’t lie, mostly inspired by Tatty’s great Layering post). I know I do this semi-regularly when I talk about my ASOS wishlist (well I’ve done it twice) but I thought I’d mix it up and talk about one of my favourite plus-size brands, Missguided.

As I type this I am posed with the question: if a clothing brand offers a plus-size range, does that make it a plus-size brand, or must it cover only plus-sizes to qualify? I guess the the answer is: who actually cares? As long as there’s enough material to go around my ample body. Which there seldom is with ‘regular’ brands but that’s another post for another day, yo.

So, to my top picks from Missguided’s new plus-size range:

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Asymmetric Shirt, £28
Printed Silk Shirt Dress, £28
Checked Shirt Dress, £30

Oh em gee, check out these over-sized shirt/dresses! I particularly yearn for the gorgeous print of the middle number, look at that wonderful autumn palette. Want.

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Skull Print Jersey Dress, £20
Suede Slit Front Midi, £28
Drop Hem Cap Sleeve Chiffon Top, £25

What office wardrobe doesn’t need a little injection of the macabre round Halloween? Plus, that skirt is to die for. TDF!

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Slinky Wrap Dress, £30
Faux Leather Skater Skirt, £20
Cape Dress, £35

Christmas Season will soon be upon us and I’m pretty sure I’ve worn the same dress (or v. similar) to our work’s do two years running. This year I think I’ll treat myself. The green and red dresses aren’t my usual style but what’s a party for if not to go against the grain? I happen to believe I would rock the shit out of both. The leather skirt is just cute, I’d dress it down with a casual tee.

So these are the items I’m most coveting right now. I actually really enjoy Missguided from a quality and design point of view. It might not be the largest range yet, in comparison to ASOS Curve (The Queen of Fat Fashion) but it’s a start.

It feels to me as though the plus garments have actually been thought about and constructed with the body in mind. I’m not actually that sure what the fuck I’m talking about, just that the few things I’ve picked up from the range in the past have been spot on. So I definitely intend to shop here more (any time you want to stand up and be acknowledged, Mystery Benefactor, I’m ready).

I will say that the website is dreadful and needs a lot of work. (Don’t worry, I’ve helpfully tweeted to tell them my thoughts). But from a value/customer service/quality/selection/sizing point of view, they’re doing okay.

Great accessories too.

Oh, and if you’re looking for a little creative inspiration, check out the new Missguided offices. Who wouldn’t feel positive taking a meeting in the Unicorn Stable?

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Anyone got a pencil? (Via Missguided)
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Swing out, sister (Via Missguided)

Casual Fat Phobia

tumblr_n0we6pICYS1s36ymko3_1280I’ve recently decided, whenever someone I know on social media makes a casual fat phobic comment, I am going to casually ‘unfollow’.

No words, no rage; just a simple click or two of that sweet, sweet button and I’ll be on my way.

I can’t take it anymore. Sure, these people have every right to an opinion but don’t they realise what they’re saying? Fat people shouldn’t be the butt of every joke; the ultimate cautionary tale.

You like food but are so lucky to have your mother’s metabolism, otherwise you’d be 15 stone? The horror. Being slim might be what you strive to be and to maintain, but it isn’t every person’s goal. Some people look different and are different – and insinuating that an overweight person is awful and ugly and undesirable is frankly, bullshit.

Some people weigh 15 stone, or more. Are they lesser creatures, placed on this earth to sneer at; to think “Thank God I don’t look like that.”? Posting pictures of ‘fatties’ too, well that’s just a waste of everyone’s time. Honestly? Look inside yourself.

What about the “I’m such a heffer!” girls? I’m more inclined to say that if they want to beat themselves up all day about how fat and disgusting they are then let them knock themselves out.

Body image is a tricky one because they might well genuinely loathe themselves and that’s their perogative, just because I see a perfect 10 doesn’t mean they do. But in saying “I’m so fat!” and pinching imaginary rolls, it can become a bone of contention. If you’re saying that about yourself, what the hell does that make me?

But back to the first type. Shame on you for shaming others, shame on you for your casual discrimination. Shame we can’t be friends anymore.

(Not).

NB: I do get it, phobia of this kind has been drummed into us as women, as soon as we were old enough to understand it, maybe even before that. We’re beaten about the head hundreds of times a day by a beauty ideal that isn’t realistic. We’ve grown up being told we should strive to look a certain way. I’ve not always been so cool with myself, some days I’m still not and I haven’t always been as supportive of other women, ‘different’ women. I’m not proud of that but I am proud I now have strong enough self-esteem to address it. We’re all on the same side and we should be all about building each other up, nothing less.

Simple, innit?