Clown and Out

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Can we talk about clowns for a second? No, not Trump and his supporters but actual, honest to goodness circus clowns.

I mean, what the fucking fuck are the recent sightings all about? After learning about the first US sightings, I went about my day because, in truly human (and selfish) fashion, it wasn’t likely to effect me all the way over here in the UK. Also, the first clown sightings seemed to be chalked up to a publicity stunt (for the remake of Stephen King’s It), stupid yes but at least they had a point.

Then Mr King made it very clear he knew nothing of such a stunt, raised his own concerns over the clown-pocalypse and now here we are. Campuses are being visited by powdery faced freaks, people are going crazy and this hoax has turned violent. The hysteria has spread across the water and now we all have a little something extra to worry about on those cold walks home at night.

Like we aren’t already taking our lives in our hands every time night falls. Someone raised the point that women already have enough to contend with wherever they go, but especially at night, and they’re not fucking wrong. Now there are people out there (money on them all being men) dressing as most people’s worst nightmares just to cause distress. How twisted is that?

I’ve been lucky so far and not seen a single clown but if I do I have no idea how I’ll react. I think I’d be forgiven for punching that fucker straight in the throat though, don’t you? I hope in most cases it isn’t male clowns going out of their way to harass women in the streets, and for the most part is a broader campaign of mischief, but it’s still unacceptable.

Can’t we all just have a nice life without John Wayne Gacy and friends popping up in scare the living bejesus out of us? Nothing good ever came of a clown, I can assure you. (Maybe Freak Show‘s Twisty, I kind of felt for him).

@clownsightings on Twitter is hilarious though.

What are your thoughts on this sinister form of clowning around?

Repost: A Few Pop Culture Blogs Worth a Looksie by This, On Purpose

Now for something incredibly lazy to mirror the kind of Sunday I’m having.

A simple sharing of Kenzie’s post, outlining some of the blogs she’s been digging recently. I’m chuffed to be included with my bae, and stoked to have a whole new pool of like-minded blogs and writers to explore. This is what I’ve been doing in bed since 9am in a nutshell…

I’ll be back tomorrow with a review of a well worn classic to start the week right. More guest posts are also on the horizon, so I hope you’ve been enjoying those as much as I have.

Until then, my pretties… ❤

I’d a bit of inspiration generated by the Daily Post prompt “admire”. In all of my browsing of the pop culture blogs I read regularly, I thought, why not generate an entry to all of them so that others may enjoy them, too… So here they are, in no particular order… The Telethon Runner: She […]

via A Few Pop Culture Blogs Worth a Looksie — This, On Purpose

38 Going on 8

You might have been chilling beneath a rock over the last week and missed the latest craze sweeping the nation (and world wide) but chances are you’re bang up to date on what the cool kids are up to.

It’s a pretty bonkers trend tbh, one that my old brain can’t really compute. That doesn’t mean, however that I’m not all in. I am all in.

A conversation at work this week:

Male colleague: Christa, are you going to download Pokémon Go when it’s available?

Me: Probably not. *Scoffs* I mean, I am 38 and I was never into Pokémon, so…

Less than 24 hours later:

Me: OMG!! I caught five on the way to work!!! Obsessed!

All it takes is a cute graphic and an optical illusion to make it appear to be standing in front of you and I’m sold, apparently.

Now my Facebook feed is split again and this time it’s nowt to do with the European Union. It’s mainly grumpy old people not quite on-board the concept of full-grown adults going out of their way to catch monsters all day. They’re of my generation so I get it , I do but man, what the hell’s wrong with a bit of childlike wonderment in these dire times?

It’s pure and simple this poke-concept: get moving and go catch ’em all.

And last night I experienced first hand the greatest perks to downloading this app. First up, we got my step son out of his room and outdoors for over an hour. He would have stayed out longer but as I mentioned, we are old and it was after 9pm (e.g. the witching hour).

Getting him to do something like this is huge. I mean he’s an eleven year old boy with a laptop so grabbing his attention away from Minecraft is an achievement in itself. To get him to willingly go on a walk, especially after dinner, is a miracle.

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There were loads of people out and about, going about their business but the unusual thing is that they were talking to each other, and us, as they passed. There were students and kids and adults and a drunk dude and a man in a suit, all acknowledging one another for being a massive dork, just like them. It’s quite beautiful when you think about it.

When B. Bass ran screaming down the road after collecting three Pokéballs from a Poké Stop, everyone standing at the bus stop smiled, most of them knowingly. We might be outdoors immersed in a virtual world but I can’t really see anything wrong with that, not while we need all the positive we can get.

Just as long as we remember to stay alert at all times, am I right?

Are you a Poké-fan? What are your thoughts on this? ❤

Finally Validated

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Stop making that face, Liz, or you’ll lose your man

Imagine if all women were talked about the way Jennifer Aniston was on her wedding day:

“Today – on the day nobody thought would ever arrive – someone has finally put Christa out of her misery. After what seems like a lifetime of disappointment, our unlucky-in-love redhead shows *insert name of most significant ex here* just what he’s missing.

Dressed in ivory (lol), our poster girl for the broken-hearted looked a million miles away from the broken husk she was over a decade ago when she was unceremoniously dumped for a much sexier model (who also cares about like, the world, yo).

Who believed after all this time, after all her failures as a woman to hold onto her man/subsequent men, she would end up here? Finally whole as a human being.

We wish Christa every happiness in the future and hope, since this is her second rodeo, she has learnt from previous mistakes and won’t  fuck this up let this one get away. After all, it has taken her literally years to get this guy to commit, pouring all her energies into tying him down and not doing anything else of note. She wants to hope she gets pregnant asap, that’s even harder to go back on than a marriage contract, right?

Congratulations, Christa! You’re finally here. Somebody currently loves you and that makes you real! Enjoy every minute (we’re pretty sure you’ve got five years in you, max) – and for God’s sake don’t get (any) fat(ter) or start looking your age…”

Or something.

Fuck you gossip rags, shitty entertainment hacks and The Daily Mail.

Beards & Germs

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“Oh, you’re growing a beard? Cute.”

The hipster has done many things. He* has killed off many well-loved things over the short time he’s been King and as I type this I can’t think of a single relevant example. Tea? Knitting? Scooters, maybe?

You know you’ve seen an adult (hipster) on a scooter at some point and you’ve probably had to fight the urge to gently nudge him off as he passes. It’s a child’s toy, the scooter: walk or cycle like a grown up and get off my pavement, man!

This way of thinking actually goes against my personal philosophy and I don’t really mean it. If you want to firmly grasp the things that make you feel young and free, what business is it of mine? You do you, I’ll be me. I’m trying to seamlessly segue into an actual point here, bear with.

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God bless you, hipster

The one thing the hipster has been credited with destroying is The Beard. Over the last few years we’ve witnessed a massive increase in beard wearing amongst the male population. Now you can’t move for jostling against a lumberjack or the captain of a naval ship. Thank God.

But the hipster has somewhat over egged the pudding (Brighton, you may be the hub) and now every other man and his canine companion is rocking a similar look and people don’t like that, it seems (I’m cool with it personally). I think the general feel is that being a beard wearer is not just for Christmas, and that only wearing it while it’s cool is disingenuous. Isn’t that the fatal flaw in the hipster make-up? That they’re massive big fakers with no real passion for anything; jumping from bandwagon to bandwagon?

To counteract the hipness of the hirsute male, a recent article did the rounds revealing just how much bacteria actually hides inside those bad boys (the beards, not the hipsters). I didn’t read it, because DUH. Hair is designed to collect the nasties, isn’t it?

Armpit hair, pubes, eye lashes; it’s their main function. Is it so surprising that men with big beards may also be collecting crumbs of food, spittle and germs? I share a bathroom with a bearded honey and he does this old-fashioned thing called washing: his face, his beard, his bits. It’s not hard, honestly, I’ve seen him do it.

So, no, this news is not shocking and it doesn’t put me off my one true love, and it doesn’t remotely turn me off the idea of men with big beautiful beards. I love them in all shapes and sizes and colours and styles; and it will take way more than a bit of grubbiness to convince me otherwise.

*GROUP HUG*

(EVEN YOU HIPSTERS)

*Or she, obvs, this ain’t an exclusively male thing. Beard wearing, maybe, but not hipsterism in general.

My Week in Pictures – February 19 to 26

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Last time I posted my Week in Pictures, I waxed lyrical about going through a period of hibernation. Not much has changed.

It’s not something that worries me. I feel as though I have arrived at a great stage in my life where I don’t have to bend to pressure from other people and if I want to be the homebody I really am, I can go underground, without regret. That said, if I want to go out and dance in trainers until 3am, that is also my prerogative.

Right now, both G and I are on the arse end of a nasty bout of sickness. I’ve been sicker (!) but have miraculously managed to get myself to work, and out on several occasions, despite the above, while my one true love has been signed off work for a week. It’s not that he hasn’t been knocked for six by a chest infection, it’s just that I am far more heroic.

I realise on looking back that I was also talking about being sick in my last pictures post. I’ve been regularly and, it feels, constantly sick in one way or another since Christmas. I will be investing in a flu jab forthwith and taking more vitamins, because this cannot go on!

Pictures, left to right, top to bottom:

  1. I managed to get my aching butt to the pictures to see 50 Shades, as you already know. My reaction was mixed and my review is here, in case you missed it
  2. A good way to measure how I’m feeling about myself is by how many #selfies I take. This one was a turning point after a long flu-like sickness. Hello world!
  3. I got a bit excited when I noticed this Aroe piece right opposite where we live. It’s tucked down a little side alley and I only noticed it when I popped out to buy a pint of milk. I get excited about graffiti and lost my cool a few months back when I spotted this artist live in the act of creating a new piece #totalfangirl
  4. Having fun with rainbows. Spotted this in the car park at work, Instagrammed it. Obvs
  5. Two new babies from Models Own’s Chrome collection. Chrome Rose and Chrome Olive. They are delightful and the perfect little treats to cheer up a dreary day (although this day looks pretty spectac in this image)
  6. Leopard print lifts any outfit and these make me feel like I can do anything!
  7. My husband never puts his foot down about anything I do to modify myself but doesn’t think a septum piercing would suit me. To prove him wrong, I bought a fake one. Sadly, the man in right – it’s not a great look for me…
  8. A bonus of working in our shitty building is the epic view of the sun sets, this one was particularly awe-inspiring
  9. Lips!

Happy weekend loves, Hope you’ve had a good one!

50 Shades of Grey (Film) Review

fifty_shades_of_grey_ver3I’ve thought long and hard (giggle) about this review for some reason and I don’t really know why. I think it’s because reviews of crappy films often annoy me.

I mean, the rule doesn’t necessarily apply here in exactly the same way but with a film such as The Expendables, for instance, there is always so much huff and puff about how it’s light on plot/the dialogue is shit/acting not up to much and I think, well duh but it’s fun, isn’t it? Is this not why we are here? (In style of Maximus Decimus Crowe).

With this in mind, I’m not going to tear this film a new one just because it’s inspired by a very badly written trilogy of books, about a frankly iffy relationship. I had a lot of fun with my movie date and passed through a range of emotions during the viewing, including: embarrassment, mirth, bemusement, rage and indifference.

50 Shade of Grey (2015)

I didn’t like the books but I read them anyway, so I had a point of reference when people talked about them. Wanting to be part of it is why I went to see the film, and because I wanted to see how it’s director, Sam Taylor-Johnson had adapted it, even with the input of E.L. James.

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“Ermahgerd you’re, like, so hot Mr Grey, ermahgerd!”

Let’s quickly do the negatives: This film is by no stretch the worst I’ve ever seen but it does have a TV Movie vibe about it. The acting is okay, borderline wooden at times. I think Dakota Johnson is quite likeable, despite being a bit of a caricature of ‘sexy’ with her breathy voice and big eyes. Jamie Dornan really doesn’t do it for me and I just don’t think there’s anything stand out about his performance, though they both do what they can with what they’ve got.

The dialogue is terrible, mainly because James is a truly horrible writer and it seems as though Taylor-Johnson lost the battle to refine it. At least we’re spared the whole ‘inner goddess’ schtick though, which is a massive Pro and should go on the positives list.

The sex scenes are a lot saucier than I expected, which probably sounds like a ridonkulous thing to say about a film about BDSM but I know what I mean. I was reassured by the fact that it was actually quite sexual, I thought it would be pseudo-sexy but somehow decidedly innocent. They actually do fuck, which is nice.

Continue reading “50 Shades of Grey (Film) Review”

Still I Rise

This weekend, share with us a poem that you love (by someone who isn’t you,Maya_Angelou please). Via Writing 201: Poetry Potluck (21st February 2015)

This may not be the most surprising choice from me but this is without question my favourite poem.

It works on every level and is essentially perfect.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

~ Maya Angelou

Imagine if you could encapsulate the sentiment behind this and give it to every woman in the world?

Miss you, girl.

image via Google.

Frank (Film) Review

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Never judge a film by its poster

I’m sick as a parrot, snotting and coughing all over the place and to top it all off, I royally fucked up my pancakes. It’s generally been a very mediocre Shrove Tuesday (and regular Tuesday) in the life of this Voluptuous Mind.

Except.

Except I think I might have just found my new favourite film of all time, on Netflix, just there for the plucking.

Frank (2014)

Synopsis: Jon is a wannabe musician, writing his own songs, with varying degrees of success, around his day job. By chance one day he finds himself playing keyboards with eccentric pop band, the Soronprfbs.

Verdict: Oh my gosh. I avoided this film at first because I didn’t know what to expect. I have to admit to not being that musical and although I do love music (90’s hip hop/The Smiths), I’m just not that into music biopics or the like.

This is something along those lines and in my mind I thought it would be boring and more than a little wank. I stand corrected as it’s neither of those things. In fact, it’s pretty close to perfect in terms of story (if a little flimsy), characterisation and dialogue. Mixing genuinely funny moments with poignant scenes, it gives you the feels where you don’t expect to have them.

The titular Frank, in particular, is an enigma far beyond his mask. Wearing a papier mâché head at all times (even to sleep), he carries a certificate that permits him to keep it on, even in the face of authority. He has a phenomenal singing voice while the rest of the band have varied and unique musical talent. Somehow it kind of sort of works.

Frank-Movie-PosterFrank is bolstered by his not very warm girlfriend, Clara, who takes an instant dislike to Jon, telling him early on to ‘go home’. The band have traveled to Ireland to record their first album and none of them seem that fussed about Jon, only Frank wants him around.

But Jon is convinced that he has the potential to access the far corners of his mind creatively. Will he be able to do that with a little help from his new friend? As the bond between the two of them grows, so too does Clara’s hatred for Jon.

Jon’s social networking skills, meanwhile, start to build up a small but strong following for the band, promising them an audience they never knew they wanted. Frank believes that Clara doesn’t want people to like them, but following a genuine tragedy within the group, she agrees to the band travelling to perform at the South by Southwest festival in Texas. This is not a sign that Clara is softening though, as she threatens to stab Jon if he ‘fucks up America’.

I’ll let you watch for yourself to learn the rest but I do highly recommend this film, which was inspired by the book, Frank by John Ronson (about 70’s Comedian and musician, Frank Sidebottom).

I will just sign off by saying that I love Maggie Gyllenhaal always and this performance is no exception. There’s a scene in which Jon calls Clara a really bad name (spoiler alert: it starts with a ‘C’ and ends in ‘unt’) and I thought to myself, yes that’s exactly what this character is (oh my but what a fabulous one).

Fassbender too plays his part well. Who knew that one man could elicit such genuine emotion whilst wearing an expressionless helmet/mask? He has an inimitable charisma that makes people follow him and somehow too, believe in his vision. There’s an element of something else there too that makes you want to protect him.

Finally, Domhnall Gleeson is just a little gem. His comic timing is wonderful and he puts me in mind of a young Murray Hewitt in Flight of the Conchords. I can’t wait to see him in more, especially Ex Machina.

Rating: I give this charming and genuinely heartwarming flick a not at all shabby 4.5 out of 5. And I’m tempted to pop the missing 0.5 on top anyway for taking my mind off just how shit I feel.

That’s me for tonight, I’m heading to bed now. Nighty Night.

Images via Google.

Things & Inc #2

I love doing these posts and I feel I should do them more often, since there are so many great things to think about, even in low key February while it’s frosty out and there’s not much going on.

As I’ve previously mentioned, I’m in hibernation mode and it’s been a really fun time to reflect on my blog and reading list, to watch some great (and shit) TV and films. Not enough films mind.

So, inspired by my lead up to Christmas edition of Things & Inc, here’s part 2. A few of the things I’ve been thinking about/digging in February.

jessicaharrisonflash1Jessica Harrison

This artist blows me away in general and I have seen a few of her piece pop up over the years, and always been impressed. But I have a very special place in my heart for the Painted Ladies. They are magnificent!

Since it is unlikely I would ever be able to afford one of the original figurines, I have been looking at the photographic prints instead. Still a little bit of a hefty price tag, but maybe one for a birthday wish list.

PLL

 

Pretty Little Liars

Yet another US TV show that has sucked me in and won’t spit me out until I’ve devoured all five seasons.

PLL is actually pretty good. It’s no Gossip Girl, of course, but nothing is. It’s very twisty and turny; and feels like a continual teen horror movie.

The gist: When pretty (and bitchy) Alison DiLaurentis goes missing, her clique are left to wonder what the eff went on and who would want to harm her. While the girls had been drifting apart before the disappearance, they’re thrown back together by a common enemy, the sinister A; who is threatening to tell all their secrets, and worse.

Honestly, it’s been quite gripping. Thanks as always, Netflix.

NB: I should say here that I’m trying hard to cut down on my television watching during the week. Left to my own devices, I will just sit dribbling in front of the box for four hours straight every night without gaining anything from it. I know it’s no good for me, so I’ve been coming home and reading, blogging and pottering instead. It feels good. 

taylor-swift-asos-magazine-january-2015-01ASOS Premier

This is such a material thing to include, but never mind. It’s a total game changer! You know I love ASOS anyway and lust after a lot of items on the site (too much), but upgrading to the Premier account has just been amazing.

Basically: Unlimited next day delivery, courier pick up if you don’t like something; the ASOS magazine to your door and preview emails about upcoming sales, all for just £9.95 a year. £9.95! I know I’m no longer shopping, but when I am… this will change everything.

 

Girls Season 4

So happy that this show is back again. I love it, even though I dislike at least 75% of the main characters. The writing is fantastic, the characters are flawed and frustrating; and I’m very interested to see where it goes.

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I like Lena Dunham and will always be into what she brings to the table, even if she doesn’t always present it a way I agree with. I read Not That Kind of Girl and enjoyed it. I might come back to that in a separate post soon.

Other Bloggerstype

Ah, other bloggers. Such a massive part of why I’m enjoying blogging so much right now.

Again, my current favourites will fill their own future post in the next few weeks but this week I have had some great interaction, when I really needed it, and I am starting to feel very excited about my blogging future.

I have some fun things coming up, including a collaboration with a fellow film lover that really peaks my creative interest!

So that’s what I’m about this month! What are you digging?

All images via Google.