Day 24: Sleigh

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Christmas can be a difficult time, all that family together in close quarters, all that cleaning and cooking to do. I try not to allow myself to stress but invariably do, spending much of Christmas morning red-faced and cussing. Sometimes snapping at my loved ones, as they naturally try to help me out, and I don’t let them.

I’m not talking about my immediate family here because these days it’s just us, chilling out but I saw something on social media about how hard it can be to spend all that time with the people you love when they just don’t understand you. This post in particular was about a girl struggling with being called fat continually throughout the Christmas period by her parents and extended family.

Now, I do know how this feels as I grew up with critical family members, who from an early age made digs about how much and what I ate at Christmas (and all year round). I still remember the exact words and who uttered them, and I must have been no more than 8 at the time. They didn’t stop as I grew up and honestly, if I had a penny for every time I’ve heard “You’d be beautiful if you lost weight”, I’d have a lot of pennies. (Which I’d spend on crisps).

I wish people would stop. Or at least consider how even the most throwaway comment can land and stick for life. I’ve never been conventionally attractive or slim and it doesn’t matter to anyone. Why should it bother an aunt I only ever see briefly at Christmas or funerals?

It isn’t always about weight or looks, either. It can be about career or lack thereof. Or your inability to hold down a relationship. Maybe you have the wrong relationship. Maybe you’re just not living up to your family’s expectations, whatever they are.

In my own meandering way I’m trying to say, if you’re in a situation like this: hang in there. It’s hard just to say fuck them when they’re your family, I know*. Sometimes you’ve no choice but to grin and bear it. But please try to remember that you should be answerable to nobody but yourself.

So they don’t like the way you look. And? They think you could do better career wise. What do you think, are you happy? 

They despise your boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, you’ve kind of got me here ‘cos in my experience, Mother is always right. But you know, you’re the one who has to decide this and you will decide this when the time is right. (I’m living proof you have to take your own time to figure this shit out).

Go slay this Christmas season: be secure in who you are. Try and be patient with the ignorance of others, if you can. Don’t tolerate anything that upsets you. Believe in yourself and don’t forget, people with happy healthy lives never feel the need to throw verbal punches, so consider that.

You’re fucking perfect the way you are. Merry motherfucking Christmas! ❤

*Mum, if you’re reading this, I don’t mean you!

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Day 22: Get It

I’m not making resolutions for 2017, I’ve decided. You’ll see my take on the traditional resolutions post on the 31st.

However. I will be going out on a limb and pushing myself in different areas. The above is a reminder that I can go out and get what I want when I want. It’s also a Frannieism, so I love it all the more.

This is your daily reminder to go get what you want, you got this. You have. ❤

Day 20: I Am One With the Force, the Force is With Me 

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God knows how today’s post will turn out. I’m going to go with it anyway because if nothing else, I got gumption, baby and this is my bloody blog!

Yesterday a friend posted a long rambling status on Facebook. The gist of her words were this: she isn’t into God but when she needs to, she isn’t above throwing prayers (or requests) out there into the universe.

When I read this post I thought, “That is exactly what I do and how I believe.” I know I believe in something but I can’t tell you what that is. Mother Earth? Mr Universe? (No, wait that’s something else entirely). It’s not a person, it’s more a force or higher power. But is it wrong that it can’t be defined? Is it stupid to blindly believe in something you don’t fully understand?

I don’t have an answer, obviously. God and me aren’t mates but we aren’t mortal enemies either. Probably because he’s real to me in the sense Aslan in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is real (fitting as Aslan is reported to represent J.C). Or Voldemort. Or Yoda. An interesting character in an epic work of fiction, basically.

I know other people have a different view on that, which is great. This is just how I feel.

So I was already pondering this whole topic when I went to see Rogue One: A Star Wars Story and then I met a character in that and it made me think about it even more. Stay with me here!

I will not deliberately drop any spoilers below but be cautious nonetheless ‘cos I’m a dufus. *Chance of Spoilers*

Chirrut Îmwe (spoilers in that link) is a blind warrior monk and volunteer rebel, not a Jedi but a firm believer that all living things are connected through the Force. Cool, right? I so identify with this, on a much smaller scale. In short, Chirrut believes that the Force has got his back and will protect him, and if it doesn’t, that’s cool too. Not meant to be, right?

I enjoyed this character for his unwavering faith in the Force (and his kick arse moves but that’s another story). His repetitive mantra, I am one with the force, the force is with me is very powerful on the big screen. Perhaps I was over-emotional given how excited and childlike anything Star Wars makes me feel but I felt him. I felt him so hard.

I don’t have to wear a cross or pledge allegiance to an alien emperor to believe. I can put my energy back into the earth, into the Force, into kindness – into whatever it is currently answering my calls. I can do whatever the fuck I want and I can move with it as I see fit. This isn’t about religion, it’s about spirituality, and it’s a nice feeling.

This post is most likely a hot mess but I know what I mean. I hope you get me. ❤