The Firefly (Film) Review

Jill and I settled on Gay July because we’ve always had pretty good success with LGBTQIA films within the collab – and there are some great ones on Netflix at the moment. So let’s kick back with this Colombian love story, shall we?

*Spoilers*

The Firefly (2013) or La luciérnaga (original title)

IMDB Synopsis

After the sudden death of her estranged brother, Lucia accidentally meets his fiancée and falls in love with her.

My Review

Lucia (Carolina Guerra) is estranged from her brother Andres (Manuel José Chaves) because he failed to attend his own father’s funeral. There’s A LOT of family turmoil going on since he also believes he killed their mother (she died giving birth to him). As a result, the siblings have not seen each other for three years and Lucia is unaware that her brother is marrying Mariana (Olga Segura).

On the day of the wedding Lucia has no knowledge of, Andres decides he can’t go through it without her and jumps in the car to go and get her. On the way he is killed in an accident and neither marries the love of his life, nor reconciles with his willful sister.

On learning of Andres’ accident, both women are devastated. Mariana flees the wedding in her dress and collapses in the middle of a busy intersection, while Lucia takes to her bed and is unresponsive for days afterward. Her husband Adrian (Andrés Aranburo) is present to a point but he doesn’t seem particularly sympathetic.

The beginning of the film tells us that Lucia is going to break up with him anyway so he’s already marked as surplus to requirements, so don’t worry. Mariana tells her family she is going to Mexico and holes up in Andres’ apartment – which is fortuitous as Lucia has the same idea. The women meet here for the first time. YAY!

The movie comprises a heap of flashbacks to build a picture of Andres’ past relationship with his sister, up until the point they fall out, and how he met and fell in love with Mariana. Which is happy/sad to behold, particularly when Andres ruminates the loss of his sister to Mariana.

Healing is painful but together they are able to take the time they need to start the process. This involves drunken dance parties and Lucia writing a letter to Andres seeking his forgiveness. Mariana then makes her burn it. They also visit the graveside.

Little by little the bond the women share begins to turn into something stronger and it’s bloody amazing. Mariana is surprised when she learns that Lucia is married because she’s never thought to mention it. Neither did she mention the fact that she can’t get pregnant despite their many attempts to do so.

When Lucia tells Mariana her relationship status is complicated, she cryptically asks her: isn’t life too short for that? You’re damn right, M – it bloody well is. This rhetoric is further bolstered when Adrian fucks off on a business trip right in the middle of Lucia’s grieving process and she realises it’s over.

M asks her to move into Andres’ apartment but Lucia suggests a mini break instead. Well, that trip changes everything forever but again it isn’t plain sailing because Lucia is seriously confused. Which you can kind of understand.

Will she follow her heart and take all this as meant to be? And why is Mariana throwing up all the time? Hmmmmm.

My Thoughts

The Firefly is lovely but man is it melodramatic. There are times it plays out like a telenovela – my God, ladies CHILL. Mariana’s Miss Haversham-esque few days swanning around in her wedding dress may be understandable, but it’s a bit over-dramatic. And there aren’t really any surprises here, the tale plays out by numbers. I’m not necessarily criticising it for that, it’s just an observation.

What I do criticise is the fact that Andres’ best friend knew he’d gone to find his sister on his wedding day and as far as I can tell, never tells her. You’d think that would be kind of a big deal to hear, non?

The strength of this film, as with any love story, lies in the chemistry between our leads. The hand holding and the loaded looks, the pool kisses and the fun they have together is lovely to witness – and it doesn’t help that both women are warm and so bloody beautiful. So, sure it’s a little bit all over the place but its heart is in the right place – it’s a good take on grieving and growing, of loving again as though you’ve never been hurt and of grabbing those fresh starts when you can. I’m all for that.

“I know you’re sad, but we need to talk about that horrible cardigan…”

What does the Queen of my Heart think of this one? Would she buy it dubious knitwear or leave it by the side of the road in the rain? Find out here.

Girl Gang: Drag Race Edition

Of course there had to be a Queen version of the Girl Gang eventually. It just makes sense, especially off the back of the Season 10 finale.

I present, my Drag Race Girl Gang – what a fierce bunch.

Acid Betty

Season eight’s caustic Acid Betty left the game way too early but you know something? I’ve never stopped thinking about her. Betty, I imagine would be a ride or die gal with a tongue that could cut you into strips if you were being a dickhead. That said, I’m quite sure she’d inspire you to be tougher too – and with a wardrobe this neon, how could there ever be a dull day?

Detox

My God I love Detox, what a stunning woman. Not only does she rock the most sublime high fashion looks, she also has a massive heart and a sensitivity that’s made me tear up a couple of times. And lucky me got her in the best season (5) and then again in All Stars 2.

As a GG member, I think Detox would be the fashion plate member, the one who encourages her pals to be fierce no matter what and to try new things, always.

Adore Delano

The Alt Queen, Adore is such a grungy angel and I love her. She’s definitely the most charming member of this Gang, getting by on her personality (so sue her) and just living up to her name. Plus, she’s always got eyeliner about her person.

Kim Chi

The Queen of my Heart, Kim just has to turn up and I’m happy. She resonates with me because she’s so clumsy and awkward but can turn it UP when she has to. I feel like that’s a metaphor for how I navigate life – a lot of putting on a performance to hide my insecurities.

Hands down my favourite ever contestant.

Bianca Del Rio

An obvious choice perhaps but who doesn’t want the sharpest Queen on the block in their gang? She’s here to make me laugh until I piss myself.

Who’s in your gang?

International Day of the Girl Child

Yesterday was International Day of the Girl Child and also, World Obesity Day. The latter as you can imagine divided the internet and a lot of the fat babes I follow on Twitter claimed the hashtag for themselves as a form of celebration. I was there for it as always, as were the usual boring trolls and health police. YAWN.

All I can say in response to the usual BS comments online is that every person, whoever they are and whatever they look like, even if they offend your eyes or make you feel concerned for their personal welfare, are deserving of love and respect. And you have no right to comment on anybody else’s body – ever. Do you.

In the meantime, twirl on those haters, ladies.

Anyway, I’m here to talk about GIRLS. I often think about how sad it is I will never have a girl child of my own. Which might sound stupid given my strong stance on not having children – like, never ever – but that doesn’t mean I have taken my decision lightly.

There are many personal reasons for not wanting to be a mother and this is not the time to discuss them but I do think about what it would be like to have a daughter to mirror the great relationship I have with my own mother. I can just imagine a ferociously grouchy little riot grrrl with my hair.

Despite there not being a daughter in my future, I have such amazing women in my life – and amazing women to come, in the shape of nieces (hopefully), future friends and future children of friends. They are all my daughters, sisters and mothers and that is what I’m here to celebrate today.

So a shout out to the women in my life, and these lovely bloggers below.

Jill 

Wifey for life. A talented, beautiful babe who just understands that sometimes people are the worst. Life is better knowing this one is only ever a message away, even when life is busy.

Meghan

This guy, man. This guy is the greatest, and if you read her blog, you’ll see why. The sharpest writer and the baddest motherfucker in town.

Belle of the Bluegrass

Lydia is such a beautiful writer and her blog is a gorgeous space to hang out. A dream girl online and IRL, I’m a massive fan.

Ponderous Pieces

I love Hannah’s PP and particularly enjoy the Bae Watch series. And pretty much everything else that she publishes, I won’t lie.

And to every single woman or girl who comes by here, every woman I know – I appreciate you and all that you are.

Always.

Who are your Girls? 👩🏻‍🎤💃🏼👯

Right, no more International or World Days of anything! Back to horror best tomorrow.

GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (Film) Review

Something really special is happening on our blogs this month as Jillian and I embark on a new series: GLOTBC – The Gorgeous Ladies of the Blog Collab! Any excuse right?

We’ll pay homage to some kick-arse Queens in all genres of movie and really where better to start than here, with this kitschy techno dreamscape of a documentary? It is surely impossible not to love, warts and all.

GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling (2012)

IMDB Synopsis

GLOW: The Story of The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling chronicles the rise and fall of the first ever all-female wrestling show through the stories of those who lived it.

YAAAASSSSS

My Review

Jill and I were all over the Alison Brie starring Netflix series GLOW as soon as it debuted a month or so ago. Sure it’s prime popcorn viewing but who doesn’t need that at the end of a busy working week? Plus, it’s fun to choose favourites (Machu Picchu! Machu Picchu!) and imagine how you’d fare in the ring (not very well, I’m sure).

But GLOW is no fictional daydream, it was once a very real female-only sport and entertainment phenomenon. Sadly, it was axed from the television in 1990 – at the height of its popularity. What the heck is that about? Why can’t we just have nice things? (We’re getting it back though, aren’t we? That’s what all this revival is about, surely?)

Tinkerbell would have done anything to get back to The Lost Boys again

This honestly delightful and heart-warming documentary charts the ebb and flow of the the GLOW, from initial conception to the bitter end, by way of lovely stories about some of the biggest names in female wrestling (or if not wrestling the sport, wrestling TV).

We spend quality time with raw steak guzzler (and my personal hero) Matilda the Hun (Dee Booher), Big Bad Mama (Lynn Braxton) and the most adorable woman on the planet, Mt. Fiji (Emily Dole).

We spend time on the early years of GLOW, remembering the outfits, the on-air feuds, the boke-inducing bone breaking injuries, (ooof!), the rapping (a highlight), the Hefner signed Playboy centerfolds but above all, the genuine love and warmth between these remarkable women. And they are remarkable, because who honestly would have the balls to do what they did?

We then catch up with the women as they fill us in on their lives since GLOW and how good/bad life has been to them in the interim. It’s powerful stuff, I won’t lie. Some women have thrived, while others have been through the ringer. But when they reunite, it’s nothing short of beautiful.

Real love

Mt. Fuji in particular is a force. Now wheelchair bound and diabetic, she’s still a ray of pure sunlight who loves her sisters and admits to a long time crush on the show’s creator, Matt Cimber in front of everybody.

My personal favourite, Matilda the Hun wrestled until she was fifty and then went into directing and producing wrestling videos. Other careers off the back of GLOW are costume design, real estate and acting – but it seems nearly all of these Lycra-clad babes still have a place in their heart for their rough and tumble pasts.

It just seems to me that GLOW must have been such an incredible thing to be part of, a safe place that made male wrestlers jealous and gave these woman a platform to be truly incredible. They would have been incredible anyway but consider the industry these women found themselves in. It was no mean feat to find such a place to belong and to prosper.

Yeah same, same

My Thoughts

What’s not to adore? These women are the best.

I must say there were times I felt a little bit awkward about the OTT stereotyping of the wrestlers in GLOW (Netflix) but this makes it clear that they were inspired by real life characters (not right always but I get it). It would be very interesting to witness what this generation’s GLOW characters would be like.

I’m truly so uplifted. Now pass the motherfucking Kohl!

My Rating

5/5. For the fun and the feminism. 

What did the woman of my dreams Jillian think? Would she clothesline the shit out of this or tap it out after ten? Find out here. 

Ps. What would your GLOW name be? I’d be Ginger Snax 💪🏻👌🏻

Day 28: Your Throne

Source unknown

A good one to remember. Always. ❤

Day 19: Nasty Woman

Such a nasty woman ~ Dump

I don’t stand with her any more than I stand with Dump but I sure as fuck love the “Nasty Woman” slogan, adopted positively by the women of the world after the hideous (now) President Elect spat it out at Hillary Clinton during a presidential debate.

It’s such a typical comment aimed at women who stand up for anything and one you hear a version of over and over again, in the workplace, in the home, more times that you could even register – now being a nasty woman is something of a great thing. It means you’re doing something right.

I even heard it at our work’s Christmas party, aimed at a friend who dared to open her mouth to a small-minded child of a man, who had nothing better to do that stir up rubbish. Like being opinionated is a bad thing, negative words such as ‘aggressive’ have to be rolled out to make us question whether we’re in the wrong.

Sticking up for ourselves is not aggressive. What we are is very far from aggressive. However, even if we are, in the heat of the moment, who can blame us? We have to shout so hard to be heard, sometimes it’s the last resort. Sometimes it’s even satisfying.

Woman always used to be called divas, right? Remember all those stories about difficult women in Hollywood, driving their directors to despair because they dared push back? Dared to share their ideas and their concerns?

“Oooh, she’s very difficult”, they would say about women like Madonna, whose only real crime is that she’s direct and one of the most eloquent human beings on the planet. Does she take people’s shit? Probably not ever. Obviously a nasty woman.

So this post is to all the nasty women I know, the powerful, thoughtful, eloquent, angry, gentle, hopeful, wonderful fucking women in my life and out there in the world.

Next time someone tells you you’re nasty or a bitch or a diva for speaking your mind, be proud. Say “Thank you” and move on with your day, don’t let them shut you down. ❤

Radical

I don’t know who’s artwork this is, but I love it

I saw this video yesterday, posted as part of #mentalhealthawarenessweek and like most women would on viewing it, felt very emotional.

Why is it, still, that we’re so quick to trash talk ourselves, yet would never dream of doing the same to our friends or other women? (Hopefully).

Why is it, after all this time, after all the girl power mantras, the compliment-heavy chats in toilets with drunken girls on drunken nights and all the pushing back against the impossible (and ever changing) beauty ideal, we still can’t cut ourselves some fucking slack?

It’s a simple view but I like the idea of trying to speak to myself as I would my beautiful best friends. Of seeing myself every now and again and saying “You’re beautiful girl, look at you!”.

I don’t feel pretty all the time, in fact I’m tired of the negative voice that says I’m worthless, old and lumpy, that I’m a monster who doesn’t even look human compared to anybody else.

The same voice tells me my husband is only with me for a bet (a long bet), and that people feel sick when they look at me.

Every day is a battle to get on top of that point of view and to quash it. To remind myself that it’s just one voice, that there’s a stronger voice in there somewhere, it just doesn’t shout as loud.

I’m willing to keep fighting to be honest. What other choice do I have? I’m not going down with that hateful ship, no way.

How do you practice #radicalselflove? ❤

Guest Post: It’s Okay to be Broken or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Flaws

First in my new She’s All That series is one of my dreamiest real-life friends. In fact, it would be true to say that Ms Lightle was my first real friend in Canada and one does not quickly forget that. United by our mutual love movies, amongst other things, Meghan and I used to work together then go and see as many films as we could get away with in one sitting. One Summer that’s all we did because we do what we want (and fuck the outdoors, apparently).

Meghan is a constant inspiration what with her strong writing, sharp mind and unlimited bravery. I want to be more like her when I grow up. For more from Meghan, go visit The Lightle Side of Life (for all sorts of life gems) and That’s Lightletainment! (for more entertainment based subject matter) and for now, enjoy this post. ❤

There’s something alluring about a mess, isn’t there? I mean, it’s overwhelming and sometimes you wish it would just go away, but isn’t there also some part of you that believes if you have enough time and the right tools, you’ll be able to square it all away and won’t that just be an amazing accomplishment? This is a metaphor for my life. I’m a mess. My house is a mess. My love life, such as it is, is a mess. I thought by the time I hit 30 I’d have it all sorted and be living in a clean and spacious apartment and hosting dinner parties on the weekends and curling up with my lover and our puppy at night.

So.. not quite.

But maybe that’s okay. And you know how I know? Because I’m not the only one still sorting herself out. And I know this because every once in a while someone creates a character, a grown woman, who doesn’t completely have her shit together and honestly if it’s good enough for them, what am I complaining about?

I’m speaking, of course, about the female anti-heroes.

Of course there’s already been a lot of inked spilled about your Cersei Lannisters, your Lisbeth Salanders (although I believe she’s pure hero) and your various Catwomen, but since I skew more comedy as a rule, I’ve decided to explore the female anti-hero through a different lens. One that makes me laugh.

In the beginning, there is the protagonist of Bad Teacher, Elizabeth Halsey, played with delightfully evil glee by Cameron Diaz. From the second she pulls the croutons out of her friend’s salad, uninvited, I was like YASS QUEEN this is my kind of woman. She picks the lettuce off her burgers and eats corn dogs for dinner. She smokes weed and drinks constantly. She couldn’t remember her fiance’s birthday. She’s selfish, cruel, manipulative, and conniving. Her only goal in life is to get a rich husband. To land one, she needs breast implants which she plans to pay for by stealing and cheating her way to the top. Does this sound like the kind of person you want to have over for Christmas dinner? No, of course not, but that doesn’t stop one of her student’s mothers from doing that exact same thing, which only leads to her making fun of said student’s sweatshirt. A gem, if ever there was one. Honestly, this movie made me a life-long fan of Ms. Diaz. I found her so enjoyable to watch and root for, I didn’t even care what a terrible person she was. That’s the kind of female anti-hero I’m after.

Still somewhat in the vicinity of “evil doer” we have Mavis Gary, played by Charlize Theron in Young Adult. Mavis eats about as well as Elizabeth and I have to admit I felt a kinship with her when in her first scene she’s seen drinking Diet Coke straight out of the bottle while standing in the fridge. Take out the diet part and that’s me.

Mavis’ plan is even more simple. She’s going to save her high school boyfriend from his wife and new baby by blowing back into town and seducing him away with all the trappings of her (somewhat exaggerated) success. She is missing deadlines at her job and pulling out her own hair but all she needs is another chance with the one that got away. Instead she spends a few days getting to know the biggest loser from her high school. She teases him, drinks his limited edition “Star Wars” whiskey, and uses him to validate herself, all while being blissfully unaware of how her actions might be affecting people. I love this film because even in the end, nothing has convinced Mavis she’s doing anything wrong. She just packs up and goes home. Just like in life.

Moving on to something even more depressing, we have Maggie Dean, one of the titular Skeleton Twins, played by Kristin Wiig. Wiig has a couple good anti-heros under her belt, if you include Bridesmaids (I do) but I especially want to talk about The Skeleton Twins because of how infidelity is portrayed in the film. Maggie has been cheating on her husband for a while when we meet her. She’s feeling lost and angry and instead of, idk, talking about her feelings, she’s pushing him away. It would have been really easy to make her husband an asshole (looking at you, This is Where I Leave You) so we would immediately sympathize with her actions, but no, Lance (Luke Wilson) is the sweetest, most laid-back, accommodating, and noblest husband that’s ever been cheated on. There’s no question that Maggie has some fucked up views on love and marriage left over from a traumatizing childhood and fraught relationship with her mother and brother. I really understood Maggie and I loved seeing the representation of an extremely broken woman up on screen.

Bridesmaids was great for a myriad of reasons, the least of which was introducing the world to the comedy of the great Melissa McCarthy. McCarthy is a comic genius, an amazing actor and performer, and a plus size, big boned, voluptuous, fat woman. I adore her. As far as I am concerned, she has never made a bad movie. Her characters are fully realized, distinct, and compelling. Naturally I feel that Spy is her best work to date, but if we’re talking anti-heros, there ain’t no one greater than Shannon Mullins from The Heat.

Mullins should have lost her badge YEARS ago. She is unprofessional, rude, insubordinate, and terrorizes both her fellow officers and the suspects she brings in for questioning. However, she’s also a damn good cop and just as her male counterparts have known for years, you can get away with anything if you have the skills to back it up. She eats the same cheese sandwich for three days and has turned her fridge into an armoury. Her family is mad at her for doing her job but she won’t admit how much that hurts her. She is prideful and stubborn. She has no time for a serious relationship and has to constantly turn down former lovers who desperately want to be with her. She’s fiercely independent, a true lone wolf, and until she met FBI Agent Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) she hadn’t a friend in the world. Not much changes by the end of the movie.

So if you’re a little crazy and jealous or boisterous and difficult, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Representation matters and there’s no shortage of flawed yet sympathetic women out there to relate to.

Riot Grrrrrls

 

“When you meet a woman who is intimidatingly witty, stylish, beautiful and professionally accomplished, befriend her. Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse by comparison. It makes you better.” ~ Ann Friedman

God knows right now, in the wake of Brexit, the American election race, the sharp rise in hate crimes in the UK, Michael Gove‘s fleshy bottom lip and all the horror going on in the world (from Iraq to the USA), that we need a little reminder that life is not fucked up or all bad.

Things they are a changing but the fundamental elements of what makes life beautiful still remain, we just need to take a moment and believe it. With this in mind, I’ve decided to enlist the help of my very favourite gal pals and writers to ramp up the positivity around here. You see how generous I am with the sharing? Although technically, my collaborators will be doing all the work, so really they’re the generous ones.

My plan is, over the next couple of months to share a weekly post by one of these remarkable women. Many of these writers are actually you, dear readers, and some of you know of one other already which warms my cockles.

My brief on this project was laid back:

It should be empowering, perhaps about how you stay positive, your views on feminism/body positivity/*insert topical buzz word here* – that sort of thing or anything really than inspires you.

Could I be any more vague?

Failing that, you can honestly contribute anything, a favourite recipe, a post about a crush you have, I’m easy. I just want to hear your voice and share it with my minimal readership – in other words, pretend you’re writing a post only likely to be read by yourself and my mum, my biggest fan!

(Hello Mum!)

I’m really excited about this because I know you’re in for a treat. I’ve already read a few ideas from my first guest and she is the flaps (not nuts, flaps). So I hope you will join me in showing her love when she makes her A Voluptuous Mind debut.

Let’s get the PMA flowing, remind ourselves that hate will never win and be fucking fabulous at the same time!

Do you want to be involved? If so, I want you! ❤

If I haven’t already emailed you and you like the idea, why not sling me an email (on the contact form on the About page). I’d love to hear from you!

The Game

“You are in the great game now and the great game is terrifying.” ~ Tyrion Lannister to Daernerys Targaryen

*** Spoilers are coming ***