Girl Gang: Christmas Edition

Inspired as always by my girl, it’s your festive edition of the Girl Gang series. Obviously.

Barb, Black Christmas (1974)

Oh, why don’t you go find a wall socket and stick your tongue in it. That’ll give you a charge.

I have a real soft spot for the festive sub genre of Christmas horror movies and Black Christmas is no exception. While it offers up a traditional slasher narrative, it is also very sad. I also love it for the progressive tackling of its abortion story line and its delivery of super messed up characters, particularly Barb (played by the late, great Margot Kidder).

By rights I suppose Jess (Olivia Hussey) should be the standout for this gang, given her position as the level-headed Final Girl but Barb pips her to the post and I’ll tell you why. Sure, she’d be quite the challenge as an actual friend, her drinking is very damaging but the girl needs help damn it. She’s sassy, she’s mean (but funny) and she’s also quick-witted AF (particularly when snarking out an obscene telephone caller).

Every GG need a blunt and dynamic member and Barb’s our girl, though maybe someone needs to have a word with her about getting kids drunk. I hate that Barb isn’t the sole survivor of Billy and his murderous tendencies but if you’re going to go out, why not take death by crystal unicorn? ICONIC.

Let’s be honest that Den Mother, Mrs Mac (Marian Waldman) totally has an open-ended invite to join this group too – what a dame. You can read my review of Black Christmas here.

Bridget Jones, Bridget Jone’s Diary (2001)

Wait a minute… nice boys don’t kiss like that.

Inviting Bridge to the party seems like a pretty obvious move and I’m not sorry. BJ is a sweary hot mess who makes poor decisions and messes up a lot but she also takes risks and isn’t afraid to make a tit of herself. I can honestly say that there is nothing more appealing to me than a person who can embrace their goofy side (my friend Heather is a shining example of this).

Bridge is somewhat normal and when I’m hanging out with girls I want to feel comfortable and never judged about my own dubious choices. BJ would never shame me and she’d be down for whatever, ride or die to the end. I think she’s inspirational too in so many ways, while she’s fucking up she does also learn and eventually realises her worth isn’t dependent on validation from Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant).

If we were friends though I would have to have a very stern chat with her about her constant diet talk and calorie counting – do it on your own watch, Miss Jones for the love of God.

Iris, The Holiday (2006)

I’m looking for corny in my life.

Oh, Iris, let me count the ways in which I love you.

The Holiday, I would say is on par with Love Actually it terms of quality but that’s not to say I don’t fucking adore it. But, while Cameron Diaz skips through snowy fields with Jude Law, I’m always dying to get back to Iris (Kate Winslet) in the city of Angels.

Iris is a perpetual romantic with her heart set on the ultimate bad boy (Rufus Sewell) – been there, done that. The thing is, she’s just about done with his games and her apartment swap is the first step in a long journey to getting the fuck over it. Step in Jack Black and arguably the much more important leading man, Arthur (Eli Wallach).

Iris is a good, kind woman and she’s a laugh. She’s into movies and she’s into banter and I want to have a drink with her in a bar so bad – and then I want to go home and watch old videos with her into the early hours and laugh about all the rat bastards that have ever broken our hearts.

Selina Kyle, Batman Returns (1992)

Honey, I’m home. Oh, I forgot. I’m not married.

Sure, lonely but lovely Miss Kyle becomes one of Gotham’s greatest villains/heroes of all time following a terrible ‘accident’ at the hands of her boss Max Shreck (Christopher Walken) – but even before that she was an interesting person and I want Selina on my team.

While she’s portrayed as a bit of a door mat, I don’t see her that way. Selina’s ambitious and damn good at her job. While the men around her only see her as a lowly secretary, the woman holds everything together (familiar?). Our girl is gorgeous and sweet – and what’s more, nothing can keep her down. Not even death and certainly not Batman or Shreck – or the pervy Penguin.

Selina evolves from self-deprecating loser to mischievous minx to the sassiest adversary Gotham’s dark knight has ever seen and the arc is beautiful. PLUS, I want her apartment and her entire wardrobe SO BAD. SUE ME.

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Selina Kyle: so good she deserves her own slideshow…

Who’s in your gang?

Guest Post: Depression Is Fun and Other Lessons from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Ah Jillian. My beloved work wife and bad movie partner in crime, let me count the ways. We’ve been collaborating on our film reviews for nearly two years now, talk regularly about our mutual anxieties in all aspects of life and were lucky enough to meet in the flesh this May, which was epic.

I can’t remember my life without Jill in it and honestly, this has been the best thing about blogging for me, making real friends within the blogging community. You can keep your endorsements, your free swag, your one million comments, likes and shares – none of that is as important as genuine connection. And my wife is as genuine as they come.

So enjoy Jill’s post. You can find her on her brilliant blog The Pink Panther Snipes Again where she blogs regularly about B-movies, books, life and Bertha Mason, Warrior Queen of all the Cats.

Christa asked me to participate in her blog series focusing on inspiration and empowerment amidst all of the shit that has been this year.  I was both honored and terrified to contribute because (a) I don’t radiate positivity on my best day and (b) I’d been feeling the lowest I have in a long time (which realistically is probably a month) for nearly a solid week and I had trouble even getting through the weekend.

It’s well established that I can’t talk about anything topical without losing my shit.  (The first draft I put together reached a level of angst I haven’t achieved since my teenage journaling days.)  Other years have been a challenge too, but this year feels especially like a sucker punch to the gut.  I’m really tired of hearing about how the world is heading to hell in a handbasket when you know, the same thing was said about women riding a fucking bicycle.  (Thanks, Kate Beaton.)

That being said, I’ve still been staying up late to follow the Republican National Convention, which only succeeds in aggravating me right before bedtime.  I KNOW it’s bad for me, and I follow politics way more than I intend to because I care about social justice.  I honestly don’t know how you can be a librarian if you don’t since it’s essentially about helping people find information and learn things for themselves with no financial incentive whatsoever.

But so I don’t lose my goddamn mind (further), let’s talk about a familiar topic that is a mere stone’s throw away from the bad movie blog:  TV.  My latest binge-watch is Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, which is a relatively short binge as it’s only 18 episodes so far.  Despite what you might conclude from the show’s title and truly terrible promos, it’s an incredibly funny, subversive, musical dark comedy.

The show follows Rebecca Bunch, a career-driven New York lawyer about to get everything she’s always wanted and become partner at her law firm.  Or so she believes.  She receives a wake-up call in the form of a butter commercial and a chance meeting with Josh, her ex-boyfriend from summer camp 10 years prior.  Realizing she’s miserably unhappy, Rebecca impulsively moves to Josh’s hometown, West Covina (an LA suburb).

Stay with me because I KNOW the premise sounds cringe worthy, cliché, and anti-feminist.  But like so many current TV shows, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend takes a familiar premise and twists it into a self-aware, satirical social commentary.  And refreshingly, Rebecca carries a great deal of emotional baggage without being dismissed as crazy (except, you know, in the show’s name).

I can’t quite put my finger on what it is that I love so much about this show, but the characterizations of its main and supporting characters are certainly a huge part of it.  Honestly, Rebecca is the character I’ve related to most since Liz Lemon (well, also sarcastic supporting character Heather).  Don’t get me wrong—I’m not sure either of these characters are great to emulate, but they feel real to me in a way that so many female characters don’t.

Rebecca is one of the few characters I can think of who has anxiety and depression that isn’t used solely for comedic effect.  We see her processing her problems logically but ultimately choosing the most self-destructive path possible.  She worries about not really having any friends, being a bad feminist, and not being able to convince everyone that she’s doing fine.  Among other things, there are songs about Rebecca’s depression, self-loathing, and being a good person (or not)–all of which get stuck in my head for days.  Whenever I’m watching, I constantly swing between laughter and the terrible suspicion that someone has stolen my memories and made them into a TV show.

It’s nice to see a character trying and often failing to stop lying to herself and allow herself to feel what she feels.  Sometimes the only thing you’ll be able to do is sit on the couch all day and fail to motivate yourself to go outside.  Not that I speak from experience…

Which is, of course, a blatant lie.  My experiences with depression are a major part of this show’s appeal to me.  Reading was my escape for a really long time, and I fell apart a little when it stopped working for me.  There are still days when I pick up a book that I’m desperate to finish only to put it down a few paragraphs later when all I can think about is how badly I fucked up that one conversation from weeks ago or why I haven’t done more with my life.

I  wish reading were still my escape because it was for years and years, but I’m working on giving myself a break for my needs and interests changing and simply giving myself time and space to be nice to myself.  True, reading is a more intellectual pursuit than watching TV or terrible shark movies, but sometimes my brain just needs a fucking break.

This is also a reason I fail to understand the drive for constant self-improvement.  I appreciate that goals help push people to achieve their dreams and look back in satisfaction on their accomplishments, but sometimes a goal feels like the opportunity to break another promise to myself and to fail (again).  There are days when I just need to survive.  As TV is currently proving, it can be something really stupid that gets you through it.  And when I say “through it,” I mean temporarily because there’s nothing that will ever drive the bad thoughts away entirely.  And I’d be an intolerably peppy person if I never had any dark thoughts whatsoever.

I don’t like to give advice because it’s a really bad idea to follow in my footsteps, but these are the things I try to remind myself.  It’s ok to not feel strong, but you are, especially when you know you need help and support.  It’s ok to reach out to people and tell them you’re feeling shitty.  It’s also ok to have your own personal feeling space where no one is allowed to enter.  It’s ok to be fucking sad.  It’s so ok to do nothing except breathe and remind yourself to keep on breathing.  And journal, you guys.  I can’t say enough for journaling.

Of course I want to feel happy and I want you to be happy, but I think it’s more important to find the strength to accept what you feel.  Even when you’d prefer to gloss over it or repress the shit out of it (I’ve been there so hard).

This self-care reminder is something I look at A LOT and probably one of the best things to come out of Tumblr:

http://eponis.tumblr.com/post/113798088670/everything-is-awful-and-im-not-okay-questions-to

Finally, NEVER get rid of your old iTunes playlists because Eva Cassidy, Missy Higgins, and Brandi Carlile got me through last week.

On that note, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite sad songs, “Penny to My Name” by Eva Cassidy. ❤

All images via Unsplash

Repost: A Few Pop Culture Blogs Worth a Looksie by This, On Purpose

Now for something incredibly lazy to mirror the kind of Sunday I’m having.

A simple sharing of Kenzie’s post, outlining some of the blogs she’s been digging recently. I’m chuffed to be included with my bae, and stoked to have a whole new pool of like-minded blogs and writers to explore. This is what I’ve been doing in bed since 9am in a nutshell…

I’ll be back tomorrow with a review of a well worn classic to start the week right. More guest posts are also on the horizon, so I hope you’ve been enjoying those as much as I have.

Until then, my pretties… ❤

I’d a bit of inspiration generated by the Daily Post prompt “admire”. In all of my browsing of the pop culture blogs I read regularly, I thought, why not generate an entry to all of them so that others may enjoy them, too… So here they are, in no particular order… The Telethon Runner: She […]

via A Few Pop Culture Blogs Worth a Looksie — This, On Purpose

Guest Post: Ghosting Amongst Friends

I was recently lucky enough to find Kenzie via her GREAT blog This, On Purpose (or she found me, it doesn’t matter). What matters is that I love what she writes and we share a love of horror films and pop culture in particular.

Based on this, and the fact she’s a very cool girl, it was a no-brainer to ask Kenzie to be involved in the She’s All That series. Go check her out on her blog forthwith!

Image via Unsplash

Christa, the lovely creative behind A Voluptuous Mind, has graciously invited me to guest blog here. I’ll readily admit I’ve had one premise in mind for it as it’s kicked me hard over the past couple of months, so I thank Christa for giving me an alternate outlet for it.

***********

There are no greater friendships than the ones that press on.

At 43, I ought to know this by now. At 43, I still sometimes have trouble.

“Ghosting” is a strangely appropriate slang term often reserved for when one is dating. One is left in the lurch, completely disconnected of all communication from the other. It’s an invisible-man sort of phasing out of existence, a shitty passive-aggressive “good bye” consisting of no return calls, no return emails, no return texts. Nothing.

Frankly, I think the term is too limiting in its definition because “ghosting”, such as it is, occurs amongst friends as well.

I was eleven when I first experienced ghosting from a friend. There was this girl gang, a clowder of cats with feathered hair and pastel-neon colored clothes. Eleven, and I was too earnest. I didn’t understand “mean” coming from girls my age whatsoever. “Mean” belonged at home with angry family members. “Mean” came from schoolboys confused about the changes happening, the wolves coming out to hunt. Susan led the girl gang, the clowder. Susan with her glinty eyes edged with bright blue ice queen liner.

Susan didn’t like me much. Maybe it was my naturally curly hair that hadn’t been frizz-permed into a sticky Aqua Net mold. Maybe it was my pale skin that couldn’t turn golden in the sun. Instead, it went all strawberry and wetly peeled. Maybe it was my temperament, the fact I cried about anything because I didn’t understand.

Or maybe it was because I had something Susan wanted: my best friend, Holly.

Holly and I had shared much and had been through even more together. We were also survivors, sisters-in-arms, having been stalked and tormented by a nasty trio of teenaged boys with their jagged leers and switchblades. We were inseparable; we were true.

Then one day, Holly shut it off, she shut it all off. We’d no cell phones in the ’80s, but we didn’t need them. In middle school, back then, we were all about passing notes and recording, whispering secrets and communing. One day, Holly simply disconnected me by ignoring everything I said, everything I did, anything I could do to get her attention. All I saw of her in those weeks after was the view of her rigid back coupled with the occasional sidelong glare and eye roll.

It was Susan, of course, the one responsible for Holly’s ghosting of me. Susan would say something that scratched and left marks, often something scathing (and utterly unoriginal) about my appearance, and Holly, standing there, finally in the midst of the clowder, would laugh as it was expected of her, glancing every so often at Susan for approval. Even still, Holly didn’t look at me when she joined in the taunts and jeers.

In middle school, cats like Susan would inevitably get tossed in the water, left to fend for themselves. It took both time and a horribly embarrassing situation for Holly to reappear in my world. I was several weeks into my Susan-concocted invisibility when my first period (yes, that) hit me while I was on the school bus on the way back home. I was sitting in the back, well away from Holly and her siblings. They all sat in the front of the bus, her siblings acting as a barricade in case I tried to come up to talk to her.

It was always a long ride after an arduous day at school. We had a bus driver who made it clear to everyone on board, every day, that he hated kids. He also had a habit of pulling over to the side of the highway to take a piss right there, out in the open, in front of the world and its children. Anyway, the bus driver regularly screamed all sorts of colorful obscenities if any of us attempted to shift into another seat, so I quietly stayed put in my misery, thanking the gods of frumpy clothing for the long, baggy windbreaker I had on that day. I don’t know if it was an act of blatant stupidity on my part, but I was so desperate for a friend who would sympathize about the torment I was going through. So I did what any other eleven year-old girl would do in such a predicament: I sent Holly a note from my place at the back of the bus, one of those meticulously folded things that would’ve taken a Rubik’s Cube expert to unravel.

I’d taken a risk, of course. The bus was dotted with kids who’d be more than likely to attempt to unfold my note and read it aloud to anyone even half-listening. Luckily, everybody on the bus then was much more engrossed in the thrash metal music one of the 8th graders insisted the bus driver play on the way home (he didn’t like the 8th graders either, but if it got everyone to shut the hell up, so much the better). I watched her from the back as Holly carefully unfolded the note and read it, her lips moving as she took in every word I’d written. When she’d finished, she carefully folded the note and stowed it deep in a backpack pocket. Her gaze was steady towards the front. She seemed deep in contemplation rather than apathetic, which was a good sign. After a minute, she shifted in her seat, facing the aisle and rear of the bus, her eyes locking with mine. She nodded at me and held up a finger for me to wait. Then she glanced over at the bus driver, who was focused on both the road and the cassette that was suddenly being eaten whole by the cassette player.

Holly quickly slung her backpack over her shoulder and, head down, scurried to the back of the bus. When she finally reached me, she plopped herself down right beside me, and I knew right then the ghosting barricade had been lifted, especially when she leaned against me and whispered, “Does it hurt?”

“Not anymore,” I said. We grimaced at each other, at the very thought of womanhood, so gross. Just as the bus driver caught on to what had happened and yelled at Holly for having moved, we started giggling like mad.

Our bond reinstated, we dealt with all the Susans, all the unlucky circumstances, all the mishaps and dangers that come with the cusp of teenaged life. We remained friends until our families relocated due to military obligations.

It was like that then, far easier to forgive at eleven years old.

I’d not really been affected by “ghosting” from adult friends until the past several years or so. One good friend in particular quite recently decided it best to cut me off for some inexplicable reason, to “ghost” me, if you will—this, even after we’d talked a lot about just how shitty the act of “ghosting” was. (Yeah, I like my betrayal served with a hefty side of hypocrisy. Who doesn’t?)

Adult friends recognize that ghosting is not polite, it’s not civil. Adults are meant to talk to each other. If there was a problem, drinks and conversation ought to do the trick. It’s the kind of talk that lasts well into the evening when the sky is a bruised, brushed curtain and time has grown meaningless. There’d be some tears shed, some egos deflated, if only for a moment. Nevertheless, it’s a time when hats are off, but no one goes home without answers because that would simply defeat the purpose.

There are some adults around though who’d prefer not to face their problems with another, head on, and I don’t understand it at all. It’s almost as if they believe that by cutting off someone else, they’re doing that particular so-called friend a favor. After all, what kind of person in her/his right mind enjoys confrontation?

Hell, I call cowardice on the matter.

So I end this with a(n unsolicited) warning for those friends, good friends, better friends, and best friends out there, particularly those grownups who are on the cusp of ending it outright without informing the other about it:

If so inclined to keep things mum, be well aware that friendship’s done. An attempt to rekindle that friendship true will undoubtedly be greeted with a fitting ‘Fuck you.’

Guest Post: It’s Okay to be Broken or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Flaws

First in my new She’s All That series is one of my dreamiest real-life friends. In fact, it would be true to say that Ms Lightle was my first real friend in Canada and one does not quickly forget that. United by our mutual love movies, amongst other things, Meghan and I used to work together then go and see as many films as we could get away with in one sitting. One Summer that’s all we did because we do what we want (and fuck the outdoors, apparently).

Meghan is a constant inspiration what with her strong writing, sharp mind and unlimited bravery. I want to be more like her when I grow up. For more from Meghan, go visit The Lightle Side of Life (for all sorts of life gems) and That’s Lightletainment! (for more entertainment based subject matter) and for now, enjoy this post. ❤

There’s something alluring about a mess, isn’t there? I mean, it’s overwhelming and sometimes you wish it would just go away, but isn’t there also some part of you that believes if you have enough time and the right tools, you’ll be able to square it all away and won’t that just be an amazing accomplishment? This is a metaphor for my life. I’m a mess. My house is a mess. My love life, such as it is, is a mess. I thought by the time I hit 30 I’d have it all sorted and be living in a clean and spacious apartment and hosting dinner parties on the weekends and curling up with my lover and our puppy at night.

So.. not quite.

But maybe that’s okay. And you know how I know? Because I’m not the only one still sorting herself out. And I know this because every once in a while someone creates a character, a grown woman, who doesn’t completely have her shit together and honestly if it’s good enough for them, what am I complaining about?

I’m speaking, of course, about the female anti-heroes.

Of course there’s already been a lot of inked spilled about your Cersei Lannisters, your Lisbeth Salanders (although I believe she’s pure hero) and your various Catwomen, but since I skew more comedy as a rule, I’ve decided to explore the female anti-hero through a different lens. One that makes me laugh.

In the beginning, there is the protagonist of Bad Teacher, Elizabeth Halsey, played with delightfully evil glee by Cameron Diaz. From the second she pulls the croutons out of her friend’s salad, uninvited, I was like YASS QUEEN this is my kind of woman. She picks the lettuce off her burgers and eats corn dogs for dinner. She smokes weed and drinks constantly. She couldn’t remember her fiance’s birthday. She’s selfish, cruel, manipulative, and conniving. Her only goal in life is to get a rich husband. To land one, she needs breast implants which she plans to pay for by stealing and cheating her way to the top. Does this sound like the kind of person you want to have over for Christmas dinner? No, of course not, but that doesn’t stop one of her student’s mothers from doing that exact same thing, which only leads to her making fun of said student’s sweatshirt. A gem, if ever there was one. Honestly, this movie made me a life-long fan of Ms. Diaz. I found her so enjoyable to watch and root for, I didn’t even care what a terrible person she was. That’s the kind of female anti-hero I’m after.

Still somewhat in the vicinity of “evil doer” we have Mavis Gary, played by Charlize Theron in Young Adult. Mavis eats about as well as Elizabeth and I have to admit I felt a kinship with her when in her first scene she’s seen drinking Diet Coke straight out of the bottle while standing in the fridge. Take out the diet part and that’s me.

Mavis’ plan is even more simple. She’s going to save her high school boyfriend from his wife and new baby by blowing back into town and seducing him away with all the trappings of her (somewhat exaggerated) success. She is missing deadlines at her job and pulling out her own hair but all she needs is another chance with the one that got away. Instead she spends a few days getting to know the biggest loser from her high school. She teases him, drinks his limited edition “Star Wars” whiskey, and uses him to validate herself, all while being blissfully unaware of how her actions might be affecting people. I love this film because even in the end, nothing has convinced Mavis she’s doing anything wrong. She just packs up and goes home. Just like in life.

Moving on to something even more depressing, we have Maggie Dean, one of the titular Skeleton Twins, played by Kristin Wiig. Wiig has a couple good anti-heros under her belt, if you include Bridesmaids (I do) but I especially want to talk about The Skeleton Twins because of how infidelity is portrayed in the film. Maggie has been cheating on her husband for a while when we meet her. She’s feeling lost and angry and instead of, idk, talking about her feelings, she’s pushing him away. It would have been really easy to make her husband an asshole (looking at you, This is Where I Leave You) so we would immediately sympathize with her actions, but no, Lance (Luke Wilson) is the sweetest, most laid-back, accommodating, and noblest husband that’s ever been cheated on. There’s no question that Maggie has some fucked up views on love and marriage left over from a traumatizing childhood and fraught relationship with her mother and brother. I really understood Maggie and I loved seeing the representation of an extremely broken woman up on screen.

Bridesmaids was great for a myriad of reasons, the least of which was introducing the world to the comedy of the great Melissa McCarthy. McCarthy is a comic genius, an amazing actor and performer, and a plus size, big boned, voluptuous, fat woman. I adore her. As far as I am concerned, she has never made a bad movie. Her characters are fully realized, distinct, and compelling. Naturally I feel that Spy is her best work to date, but if we’re talking anti-heros, there ain’t no one greater than Shannon Mullins from The Heat.

Mullins should have lost her badge YEARS ago. She is unprofessional, rude, insubordinate, and terrorizes both her fellow officers and the suspects she brings in for questioning. However, she’s also a damn good cop and just as her male counterparts have known for years, you can get away with anything if you have the skills to back it up. She eats the same cheese sandwich for three days and has turned her fridge into an armoury. Her family is mad at her for doing her job but she won’t admit how much that hurts her. She is prideful and stubborn. She has no time for a serious relationship and has to constantly turn down former lovers who desperately want to be with her. She’s fiercely independent, a true lone wolf, and until she met FBI Agent Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) she hadn’t a friend in the world. Not much changes by the end of the movie.

So if you’re a little crazy and jealous or boisterous and difficult, take comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Representation matters and there’s no shortage of flawed yet sympathetic women out there to relate to.

The Sunshine Blogger Award

The Sunshine Blogger Award

I’ve been nominated for a blogger award! It’s always nice to receive one of these as it really spreads the love and makes everyone involved feel good. Plus, it’s just lovely to be appreciated every once in a while, innit?

My boo, Tatty very sweetly tagged me so thank you for thinking of me, darling! I will do my best to honour the Award rules, as below:

1. Thank the person who nominated you – Above! ❤
2. Answer the questions from your nominators.
3. Nominate eleven other bloggers and give them eleven questions.

Tatty’s questions for me:

1. Why did you start blogging?

My friend Paul started a blog about 15 years ago when we worked together and suggested I do the same. For a little while I only blogged to amuse him, and talked about celebrity stuff and things we were both into (boys and Wonder Woman). I didn’t have a real voice in the early days but my blog got me through a lot of bad times (specifically a horrible relationship).

I can still access my first blog and reading it makes me sad because I sound so cheerful. I wasn’t being true to myself back then at all. I’m much more honest here and am upbeat because I’m genuinely happy, rather than wearing a positive persona.

I also fell in love with writing which is why I love to blog now. Plus, I love film and books, so the three go well together.

2. Who is your biggest supporter/fan?

Tatty is one of my biggest supporters without doubt. I feel as though we bolster each other, especially during stressful periods when we really need it. She might not know this but having her as such a close friend makes me feel more youthful and cooler; and like I can be true to the things I really enjoy, like talking about the Kardashians, fashion and make-up, films we both love and deeper things like our relationships/the future.

My Mum has read my blog from the start and often mentions posts I’ve written when we see each other. She’s also been known to share them with her friends and then tell me their thoughts. Which is wonderful.

Otherwise, I have a lovely support network within the blogging community, including of course, Jill and Hayley Margaret.

I’ve not mentioned the bulk of my friends because I would say they aren’t generally “Sit down and read blogs” types. I’m sure they’re not avoiding reading my thoughts, it’s just not their thing. Which is fine.

My darling husband too is spectacularly supportive about everything I do but doesn’t often ‘read me’, purely because he thinks of my blog as a personal diary and doesn’t want to intrude.

3. What does a day in your life look like?

This is such a hard question to answer! It looks very low key to be honest. I go to work, I come home. In between this I see friends, go to the gym and watch as many films as I possible can.

A typical day is:

Get up, put on face
Go to work
Come home
Go to the gym/meet a friend
Go home, have dinner with G
Watch Netflix/Read
Bed.

Weekends are for family and being incredibly lazy. That might seem boring but I love my life.

4. What would you not be able to live without?

I would not be able to live without:

Netflix,
Glynn,
The women in my life,
Tea,
Instagram,
Black eyeliner.

5. What makes you happy?

The above list makes me happy. See also:

Blogging,
Idris Elba’s face,
Peter Serafinowicz‘ voice,
Graffiti,
Having a new tattoo,
Puppies,
New lounge wear.

6. Do you believe it fate? If not, what do you believe in?

To a certain extend I do believe some things are meant to be but I don’t believe the whole of our lives are predestined. I think a lot of it is down to good luck and the right timing. My relationship is a testament to that!

I also believe is karma which I can’t back up in any way. Maybe it’s my Mother’s hippy influence but I live by the philosophy of giving positive out to get it back. Not that I do things just to reap the rewards, of course not – but in general I feel better about being positive and open than I do being bitchy and closed off to all the good things in the world.

7. If you could live in any country, where would it be?

If I hadn’t met my husband I would still be happily living in Vancouver, Canada. No question. It’s a great country.

8. What’s your favourite clothes brand?

I love ASOS Curve, Missguided, Pink Clove and boohoo which all do plus size really well. I’m a whole lotta woman so I need a whole lotta room in my garments.

If I were rich I’d dress in only Vivienne Westwood and McQueen because I love fashion as art.

9. What’s your favourite book?

So hard to choose just one so have 5:

Life of Pi,
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (and its sequels),
The Little Stranger,
A Confederacy of Dunces.

Most recently I loved You.

Read them all and then tell me what you think.

10. What’s your biggest achievement to date?

Contrived as this may sound, my biggest achievement is getting out of an abusive relationship (which made me want to die) and living on my own in a strange city. I’m also proud of the way I’ve turned around some personal debt I ran up as an (almost) direct consequence of the same shitty relationship.

11. Lastly, how are you today?

I’m good thanks! Was stressed this morning and ready to give up. But my lovely colleague made me feel better, and now I’m great.

My Nominees:

Jillian of The Pink Panther Snipes Again
Hayley Margaret of A Stitch to Scratch
Cathy of 746 Books
Fannie of Fannie Frankfurter

And any one else who’d like to partake! (Sorry, I’m bad at nominating people).

UPDATE: My Lightle answered these questions here. I only failed to nominate her for an award because I couldn’t remember where she blogged. So consider yourself nommed now, ML. Nommed here and winner of Best Leading Actress in life.

My Questions: 

1. Who would play you in the made-for-tv movie of your life, and why?
2. If you had to be stuck in a lift with one person for 12 hours who would it be (it can be anybody, alive or dead)?
3. If you could only have one album on your MP3 player for the rest of your life, what would it be?
4. How do you deal with stress? (Asking for a friend)
5. If you were releasing your own signature scent, what 3 ingredients would you insist on including?
6. You find £50 on the street, no wallet, no witnesses – what do you do?
7. What’s your greatest quality?
8. And your worst? (In your eyes)
9. Name 3 things you bloody love about your physical appearance – GO!
10. If you had to sleep with one of the main characters in The Big Bang Theory, who would you pick? (Leonard, Sheldon, Raj or Howard/Penny, Amy or Bernadette? The little Comic Book Guy?)
11. Are you a Belieber? (Discuss)

Thanks again, Tatty, this was fun! Now I’m looking forward to some answers to my questions. GO GIRLS ❤

Happy Birthday Camelia Ophelia!

Happy birthday to my main girl, Tatty whose wonderful blog, Camelia Ophelia turned 1 today!

I’ve raved about the blog several times throughout this year and I will continue to do so probably until the end of time, or until one of us stops blogging (which I can’t see happening). So you already know I think the world of this girl and love the way she can pull together an outfit.

I love fashion, even though I’m just finding my feet at the age of 38 on what I think looks good on me and what I love, but Tatty is a natural who always looks put together and chic AF. I see this is as an art form, a true extension of a creative mind and get annoyed when people poo-poo fashion lovers and women who love make-up, etc (not that anyone’s doing that here, or I’ll have ’em).

But to me Camelia Ophelia is much more than that. I can hear Tatty’s voice in all her posts and it’s getting stronger, along with the writing. It’s so lovely to see and it’s even nicer to witness other people enjoying it. And of course, she’s one of my most lovely friends and my partner-in-work-and-crime, so obviously she’s an incredible human being!

Anyway, happy birthday my love! Can’t wait to read more.

I’ve also been nominated by Tatty for The Sunshine Blogger Award so I’ll do a post on that over the weekend.

And then I’m going to tag some of you babies in it, so get ready! ❤

2015 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 13,000 times in 2015. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 5 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Thanks to everyone and anyone who’s visited me over the year. Hope to see more of you in 2016.

Happy New Year all!

Christmas Eve EVE

Or Happy Last Day of Work as I’m choosing to call it. I’ve got that Last Day of Term feeling, even though my Last Day of School was a hundred years ago and I can barely remember it.

I’m sure it involved a shell suit and bitchy comments from one of the Mean Girls, though.

Anywhoo, it’s also Christmas Eve Eve (as my Husband likes to holler, early in the morning) and I’m already slightly stressed out about the day, even though there is no pressure on me whatsoever. I think it’s just the natural state of things.

All presents are wrapped and placed beneath the tree, the turkey is taking up half our freezer space and I’ve even remembered to buy honey for the carrots (actually a lie, but it’s on the list). I’ve got this.

But still, worry worry worry. Maybe it’s the thought of all the cleaning I have to do before my mother arrives.

This post isn’t about complaining though or talking about how we have to fit a new toilet seat before tomorrow, in fact it’s about this year and all the fucking fabulous things I’m grateful for.

And I am grateful. I have a very nice life, full of love and brilliant people, what more could I want? ASOS packages come and go but these are the things that really matter when it comes down to it. These are the people you call when you’re anxious, the people who carry things for you when you can’t walk another step (Glynn and the Christmas Vegetables*).

These are the people who are there all year round in their little (and large) ways, making life worth living.

I am grateful for:

• The aforementioned people in my life. My fit husband who is genuinely the kindest hearted human being I’ve ever met (with the cutest bum). My lovely Mum, who is just fabulous inside and out. My stinky brother and his divine wife, Maddy. My friends; my beloved Panda, the perfect Tatty (who gets me through each working day in one piece). Lovely Lauren, Beautiful Becky, Vegan Monkey. My work colleagues, my wonderful Blog buddies and every person I’ve shared an alcoholic beverage with this year.
• My Job. Even though I suffer daily doubt about my job, I feel as though this year I’ve proven I’m not just the goofball who turns up every day but somebody to take note of. I’ve also received a couple of pay rises which is both flattering and surprising (and no, I’m not rich yet). Sometimes I just feel grateful for having a job at all and not having to work weekends.
• Nip+Fab’s Dragon’s Blood Fix Cleansing Pads. These have made my skin look incredible! Anything that can do that is invaluable to me, I look very fresh-faced and wholesome RN, if I say it myself.
• Jillian & Christa’s Great Blog Collab 2015. I’ve mentioned how much this means to me before but I still feel it warrants another mention because I love doing it so much! It’s opened my mind to a whole world of sometimes horrific movies, made me think more about what I love and brought me closer to one of the best people on this planet. ❤
• My Step Son. Could have gone in the top section but I feel like he deserves a spot of his own, because what a kid. I know I won’t be having my own children ever but when people assume I’m a hardhearted cow with no soul, I want to tell them to fuck off because I actually do love a very cool child thankyouverymuch! Sure, he can be a know-it-all but who wasn’t at 11? And sure, we get the best of him mostly because he doesn’t live with us but he really is a funny, smart and shining little star.
• My favourite local graffiti artist started following me on Instagram. Yes, I am a massive art nerd but I’m basically a Fan Girl for people with immense talent and this guy is amazing. And he seems lovely too, so win win. And yes, I’m still too shy to say anything when I see him in the street but you never know, maybe now he’ll approach me (lol).
• Social Media. Just for connecting me to what’s going on out there. The news all over the world, of course, but mainly other people and their great attitudes, particularly to world issues, body image and fat acceptance. Yes, FAT.
• Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Obvs. I’ll still walking on air having seen it.

So that’s a little insight into what’s making me feel all warm and fuzzy this festive season. I wish it was colder to be honest so I could snuggle up more guilt-free but I suppose I should just be happy that snow won’t stop all transport for the next few days and fuck up everybody’s plans.

Since I probably won’t be blogging in any significant way now before Christmas Day (bar December Affirmations, which I’ve queued up until after Boxing Day), I will wish all you lovely people a very Merry Christmas now!

I hope it’s a cosy, warm and loving Christmas for you all, and a big thank you for reading, liking and commenting throughout 2015. It’s fun to converse with new people, old friends and everyone in between.

So, before I go: What are you grateful for this year?

*There’s a cool band name for you!

Day 15: Shine

I’d never heard of the Shine Theory until I saw this image on Twitter (above↑).

I fell in love with it hard and was even more overjoyed when it led me to Cattitude & Co, a blog run by Tara AKA Catstello. C&Co is one of my recent favourites (see Day 5) and I really recommend having a look for yourself.

Anyway, from the above, I found out that there’s a whole philosophy behind it. In my own words, the Shine Theory is the practice of eliminating rivalry between women, instead embracing each other’s successes, supporting and encouraging, and just generally looking at one another for inspiration, rather than throwing around the evil eye at those we deem glossier, richer and more awesome than ourselves.

We’re all on the same side after all, and haven’t we got enough on our plates smashing patriarchy on the daily?

Shining is about allowing yourself to be motivated by all the wonderful women out there in the world. Befriend them, love them, shout from the rooftops about how cool they are and embrace how that makes you feel too. Great isn’t it?

I know this is common sense and something we probably do anyway, we love our friends and we tell them that all the time, don’t we? But it’s not always easy. I can’t sit here writing this post without acknowledging that I’ve been the worst person for envying others. Throwing side eye at someone doing far better than I am, then looking at my own achievements in a newly negative light.

So I’ve been trying harder and it feels good. I’m surrounded by amazing women and incredible sources of inspiration and that makes me the most successful person, doesn’t it?

What makes you shine?