A Little Miss Guided

This is not me (via
This is not me (via Unsplash)

It’s with a start that I realise I haven’t done my annual Autumn-loving post and it’s already mid-way through October. I mean, who am I anymore?

I don’t, however, think there’s much I can add to previous posts that hasn’t already been said. Pumpkin Spice Latte, chunky knit scarves, crunchy leaves – you know the drill by now.

So I thought I’d do something a little different (ish) and blog about clothes (I won’t lie, mostly inspired by Tatty’s great Layering post). I know I do this semi-regularly when I talk about my ASOS wishlist (well I’ve done it twice) but I thought I’d mix it up and talk about one of my favourite plus-size brands, Missguided.

As I type this I am posed with the question: if a clothing brand offers a plus-size range, does that make it a plus-size brand, or must it cover only plus-sizes to qualify? I guess the the answer is: who actually cares? As long as there’s enough material to go around my ample body. Which there seldom is with ‘regular’ brands but that’s another post for another day, yo.

So, to my top picks from Missguided’s new plus-size range:

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Asymmetric Shirt, £28
Printed Silk Shirt Dress, £28
Checked Shirt Dress, £30

Oh em gee, check out these over-sized shirt/dresses! I particularly yearn for the gorgeous print of the middle number, look at that wonderful autumn palette. Want.

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Skull Print Jersey Dress, £20
Suede Slit Front Midi, £28
Drop Hem Cap Sleeve Chiffon Top, £25

What office wardrobe doesn’t need a little injection of the macabre round Halloween? Plus, that skirt is to die for. TDF!

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Slinky Wrap Dress, £30
Faux Leather Skater Skirt, £20
Cape Dress, £35

Christmas Season will soon be upon us and I’m pretty sure I’ve worn the same dress (or v. similar) to our work’s do two years running. This year I think I’ll treat myself. The green and red dresses aren’t my usual style but what’s a party for if not to go against the grain? I happen to believe I would rock the shit out of both. The leather skirt is just cute, I’d dress it down with a casual tee.

So these are the items I’m most coveting right now. I actually really enjoy Missguided from a quality and design point of view. It might not be the largest range yet, in comparison to ASOS Curve (The Queen of Fat Fashion) but it’s a start.

It feels to me as though the plus garments have actually been thought about and constructed with the body in mind. I’m not actually that sure what the fuck I’m talking about, just that the few things I’ve picked up from the range in the past have been spot on. So I definitely intend to shop here more (any time you want to stand up and be acknowledged, Mystery Benefactor, I’m ready).

I will say that the website is dreadful and needs a lot of work. (Don’t worry, I’ve helpfully tweeted to tell them my thoughts). But from a value/customer service/quality/selection/sizing point of view, they’re doing okay.

Great accessories too.

Oh, and if you’re looking for a little creative inspiration, check out the new Missguided offices. Who wouldn’t feel positive taking a meeting in the Unicorn Stable?

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Anyone got a pencil? (Via Missguided)
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Swing out, sister (Via Missguided)

An Open Letter to a Jerk

Dear Body Snarker,

This will no doubt pass you by as, predictably, women you don’t want to sleep with rarely appear on your radar. You will be perfectly civil when we meet in the flesh because society expects at least that from you and I’m connected to someone you know but beyond that I am nothing to you. Thankfully.

I’m not writing this to change your mind or opinions, if you’re content with who you are then I’m happy for you. I don’t feel the need to run down other people to make myself feel better and consciously make an effort to let people do them, while I do me. I guess that’s the main difference between us.

I want to be absolutely clear that I am not a booby prize. You seem to think, while you’re treading water between relationships with the women you deserve, that you’ll have your pick of less discerning women e.g. bigger, fatter women (your way of putting it is far cruder).

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this but let me break it down. The notion that ‘fat chicks’ try harder in bed or are less fussy because they are desperate is an outdated and frankly embarrassing (and untrue) assumption. How fucking dare you suggest it? I sincerely doubt this supposed hotbed of chubby, ‘slutty’ women are just kicking their feet waiting for you to click your fingers. Know why? They’re living their lives, having actual relationships and hopefully spending time with partners/friends that don’t make them feel like they’re not good enough.

Fat women are women, just like the ‘under an ideal weight’ ones you favour. All women are real women, whatever their size, hair colour, sexual preference, etc. You see? It’s really easy.

You might have a type and I get it. I’m a beard lover 4 lyfe but I don’t go around throwing shade and thinking of bare chinned boys as substandard human beings. I don’t think that baby-faced chaps are automatically less valuable than anyone else, despite the fact they don’t fit my ‘ideal’. Anyway, I’m not here to change your mind about that; who you find desirable is honestly the very last thing on my mind.

All I want is for you to never talk like you did about dating women to anyone else ever again, least of all the person who loves me. If you think what you think, just do me a favour and keep it to yourself. If possible, please just bury it deep forever.

I’m a fat woman. Chubby. Voluptuous. Curvy. Whatever word you choose to describe a plus-size body. I don’t care. I’m fat and I’m not a booby prize. I’m not and never have been sitting around waiting for someone like you to pick me. Most women aren’t, if you can believe that. Fat women go out and meet people all the time, are loved and love themselves too. I know, it’s fucking shocking, isn’t it?

I can’t wait for you to find this all out for yourself when you’re sitting home alone, weeping softly into your Paleo meal for one. I can’t wait for you to discover that the one thing stopping you from finding the love you so crave is your personality. Work on that for a while and I am sure things will change.

Won’t that be nice?

Kindest regards,

A Voluptuous Girl